Devasted! :( Wife's fibroid tumor tested positive for cancer.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Abner, Jul 9, 2017.

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  1. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Don't know what stage or anything like that at this point.

    I would appreciate any prayers or well wishes on her behalf. Kind of numb right now.

    Thanks!
     
  2. FTFaculty

    FTFaculty Member

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    Definitely will pray for you and your wife, that she get completely well. My mom tested positive when she was 57, we though we were going to lose her--but she turns 85 next month. Praying for same result.
     
  3. decimon

    decimon Active Member

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    Best wishes for your wife and for you.
     
  4. Gabe F.

    Gabe F. Member

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    Abner,

    I went through this with my wife early last year. She developed thyroid cancer and had to undergo a thyroidectomy that came with its own additional complications.

    Just know that you're each entitled to work and think through your feelings in your own way right now. As you both confront the weeks and months ahead, don't let the disease become of the focal point of everything. Talk about normal things. "Do" normal things that you are able to do whether it's cooking meals at home, going to a movie, or whatever. And always find something (or, hell, even someone if you have to) to laugh at.

    God bless you both and הישאר חזק!
     
  5. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Thanks, I appreciate that. I hope the same goes for my wife. I have been wife my wife since we were teenagers. As of this writing, I am 51 yo, so we have been together like 34 years or something. I can't imagine life without my Irish lassie, so I am going to shelf that thought.

    All I can do is pray.
     
  6. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Thanks for your contribution Gabe and prayers, it means a lot. Did your wife have hair loss due to the chemo?

    I am really scared, i think i am more scared than my wife, but I think she just doesn't show it. She adopts a sort of Zen mentality to these types of things. This kind of feels like a bad dream. Sometimes I wake up and forget about the problem, but then it dawns on me that the problem is still there.
     
  7. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Oh, I am glad your wife came through alright! :smile:
     
  8. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

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    Best wishes to you and your wife!
     
  9. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Thank Ted. That means a lot to me. keep reading all your books.
     
  10. FTFaculty

    FTFaculty Member

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    Wow, same story as us. Wife and I became a couple when she was 16 and I was 19, that was a bit over 33 years ago. God bless you, Abner, remember, it's not a death sentence anymore, the majority of the time you beat it nowdays. Please keep us posted and will continue praying.
     
  11. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Are you serious? My Irish lassie was 16 and I was 18! I feel in love at first site. It has been 30 plus years together for us. I am trying to not think negative thoughts. But sometimes, in the dark of night, I ask myself, what the heck would i do without my Irish lassie. I mean, she laughs at all my "I am Japanese robot named El Roboto, and my impersantions and she takes care of me, I have no idea how i would survive on my own.

    I tell her that I am Japense and I happen to speaking Spanish. he he. it gets her each time. She is the only one that laughs at my jokes like that. I love her more than i love myself. I call her my "Green Eyes" or my gueritta, red haired girl.

    I will keep you posted. I have been a member a long time now, and i feel comfortable here and among friends. Sometimes i post weird stuff or say weird stuff, but people are always willing to give you a second chance. At least that's what my shrink says. I told my doc i would do something drastic if something happened to my wife, but i can't worry about that right now. I have to be strong for her.

    I am worried that if she loses her hair to chemo, people will make sick comments under their breathe like calling her a f==cking dyke, like they did when her friend got cancer. People can be cruel! Geez man.

    Thanks for your kind words. I got the news about a week ago, but it is just sinking in now. I hope you all don't mind some chessy music vidoes or stuff like.

    Abner aka El Roboto
     
  12. FTFaculty

    FTFaculty Member

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    My wife is a German lass (daughter of immigrants), and don't know what I'd do without her either. Went through a mini cancer scare with her back when we were in our 20s, but it came out alright. The wife says perhaps my most endearing quality is I make her laugh. So it sounds like we are two peas in a pod. Yeah, don't sweat the weird stuff, Abner, many of us say weird stuff and regret it, personally I've said odd stuff and then taken a month or two off from this forum before I dared come back on out of sheer embarrassment. So join the club. Bleep the hair, my mom went through chemo and now has a full head of hair. Not everyone loses it anyway. Be the strong one (even though, like most of us middle aged guys, you may be used to being the weak one) and be there for her. She's likely going to come through this fine and your relationship will likely become closer as a result for the second half of your lives. Wil be praying for you and Mrs. Abner regularly, bless you both. Send a PM if you ever want to talk.
     
  13. SteveFoerster

    SteveFoerster Resident Gadfly

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    Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear this! Best wishes to you both.
     
  14. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator

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    You both will be in my thoughts. Stay positive.
     
  15. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Thanks Kiz and Steve and everyone. I need to pull it together for my wife. I am starting to look like an unshaven homeless person! I will stay positive, that is what my wife needs right now.
     
  16. LearningAddict

    LearningAddict New Member

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    So very sorry to hear this :-(

    Just remember to keep the atmosphere positive, keep a healthy diet of pure water and foods with fresh green veggies available, and hopefully any hospital stay will provide better food than most.

    She can beat this. Believe it, instill that belief in her and then she will believe it, and then it can happen.
     
  17. Bruce

    Bruce Moderator

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    Oh Geez, Abner, I'm so sorry to hear that!

    You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers for a full & speedy recovery.
     
  18. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    Thanks Bruce! The more prayers and well wishes the better. It seems to give me hope. Hope you and the missus are doing well. I have to be strong for her when I go her appt. with her next Tuesday. I think my beard is so long people are starting to wonder if am homeless or something. I have to try to hide my clinical depression from her and buck it up. It's not about me it's about her.
     
  19. Abner

    Abner Active Member

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    medical appt.

    So my wife has a medical appt tomorrow. I guess they are going to go over a plan of action. I am going with her for moral support. Will keep you all posted tomorrow. Wish us luck tomorrow, i am hoping for the best.

    I would also like to thank all of you for your nice comments.

    Have a good day! It is 90 dedrees today out her in SoCal.
     
  20. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

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    Abner: I am worried that if she loses her hair to chemo, people will make sick comments under their breathe like calling her a f==cking dyke, like they did when her friend got cancer

    John: When the wife of a friend of 43 years lost her hair to chemo two years ago, he immediately shaved off his full head of hair and (lifetime) beard. An amazing couple. No one would have dared make fun. (She's in the care of The Hutch in Seattle and doing OK.)

    John Bear
    7 months of chemo in
    2015 (Thalidomide, of all
    things) and doing fine.
     

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