It’s that time of year again. All across the country parents will soon fill the pews of auditoriums, orchestras will play, and students of all ages will await the coveted degrees they have so earned. At a certain key moment, when the music reaches a particular note, professors, costumed in flowing robes, and with the pomp, ceremony and gallantry of a medieval pageant, will slowly and ceremoniously march towards the stage. The audience will rise to their feet as the procession moves forward, with each distinguished professor, led by specially clad marshals, takes his or her position of honor and respect upon the stage. The president of the university will slowly and purposefully proceed to the podium. With all the gravity of an honored tradition stretching back a thousand years, and with the full weight of the state behind him or her, the president of the university or college will begin by introducing this year’s honored speaker, a man or woman whose accomplishments have earned him or her the right to be bestowed the title of honorary doctor. At most – if not all - of our prestigious RA institutions of higher education the honorary degree will be conferred on individuals of “notable achievement in any academic field, the arts and letters, the professions, or public service.” These men and women of honor will provide the keynote address to the graduating class and their families as they go out into the world to make a difference, define the issues, and solve the world’s problems. Because of their rightful contributions to society, these so honored individuals will henceforth be entitled to be addressed as Dr. Who can fail to applaud America’s universities in recognizing the achievements of men and women outside of academe to society and the betterment of our lives and this planet? Let us salute the those great RA institutions that have had the foresight and courage to honor individuals outside of the proverbial “ivory tower.” Let us join together and recognize both the RA institutions but also those who now deserve the title of “doctor.” Wherever you are right now, please join me in a standing ovation for: William and Mary recently in honoring “Dr.” Jon Stewart (http://www.wm.edu/news/index.php?id=3650); Grand Canyon University for honoring Alice Cooper; (http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2004-05-04-alice-cooper_x.htm?POE=LIFISVA); Pepperdine University for honoring Tom Selleck; Central Ohio State University for honoring Mike Tyson with a Doctorate in Humane Letters; The The Long Island University - Southampton College for honoring Billy Joel with a doctorate; The Houston Graduate School of Theology for bestowing its highest honor on George Foreman; The University of Alabama at Birmingham for honoring Stevie Wonder with a doctorate; and The University of Wisconsin Superior for recognizing then actor and future governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Drs. Stewart, Cooper, Selleck, Tyson, Joel, Foremean, Wonder and Schwarzenegger: thank you for all that you have done. BTW: who won’t you see honored this year? How dare those of you here (you “shills” and "supporters of academic fraud") who would dare suggest that your local teachers, school administrators, tool and die makers, machinists, architects, police, firefighters, government administrators and artists have the opportunity to receive either an affordable earned or an honorary doctorate! And what if these "lowly undeserving” men and women should turn to those less reputable schools (e.g. Pacific Western University and Kennedy-Western University)– places that couldn’t hope to attract the likes of the honorable Drs. Tyson or Cooper - for an earned degree? Then they deserve to be marginalized, penalized, driven from their places of employment (and if they are an Oregonian - fined)! And should they turn to even less reputable institutions (such as University of Berkley, Robertstown University, The Yorker International University, or Breyer State University) for honors, then they deserve every bit of scorn and condemnation that degreeinfophiles can hope to bestow.