I want to call myself "doctor," but I don't want to do a properly accredited degree. I want all that learning, and the title doesn't matter to me. (But I want it anyway.) Yadda yadda yadda. There is no circling such squares. Better to say, "I want the prestige of a PhD without actually going and getting one, and I hope no one finds me out." At least it is logically cogent.