The Ant and the Grasshopper: Modern Version.

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by SurfDoctor, Jan 25, 2012.

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  1. SurfDoctor

    SurfDoctor Moderator

    Original Version (this is all pasted in from an email; sorry for the bad formatting)

    The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. But the grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he
    dies out in the cold.

    MORAL OF THE OLD STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


    MODERN
    VERSION


    The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
    and laying up supplies for the winter.

    The grasshopper thinks the antis a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

    Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why
    the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

    CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper
    next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
    America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

    How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, his poor grasshopper
    is allowed to suffer so?

    Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper
    and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green...'

    Occupy the Anthill stages a demonstration in front of the ant's
    house where the news stations film the SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.

    Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray for the
    grasshopper's sake, while he damns the ants.

    President Obama CONDEMS THE ANT and blames
    President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and thePope
    for the grasshopper's plight..

    Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry
    King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the
    grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

    Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Actretroactive to the beginning of
    the summer.

    The ant is fined for failing to hire an proportionate number of green bugs and, having NOTHING LEFT TO pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated
    by the GOVERNMENT GREEN Czar and given to the grasshopper.

    The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
    which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.
    The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

    The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
    over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and peaceful, neighborhood.

    The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2012
  2. Bruce

    Bruce Moderator

    The best humor is based in truth.
     
  3. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator

    I truly laughed out loud. Especially since I had just read your thread on the coming depression. My concern is that someday we'll wind up in a situation like that of Italy or Greece. If that happens then there will be a massive restructuring and all those grashoppers (whether you sympathize with them or not) will get hit hard.

    Once upon a time I posted a thread and it had to do with coming down with a computer virus or spyware or somesuch. One of the suggestions was to reformat my hard drive using the emergency disk. Sometimes I think that's what we neen to do with our country. Reformat the hard drive, clean out all the built up gunk and start fresh.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 25, 2012
  4. SurfDoctor

    SurfDoctor Moderator

    I can't claim authorship on this, I got it in an email. I also laughed out loud when I read the part about "Occupy the Anthill."

    Bruce, I agree that this is funny because it hits close to home.
     

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