Abner & Kim Reported to Have Died

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Steve Levicoff, Sep 16, 2019.

  1. Steve Levicoff

    Steve Levicoff Well-Known Member

    Rhonda posted this in the thread https://www.degreeinfo.com/index.php?threads/my-wifes-cancer.55807/, where it could get lost, so I've reposted it here.

    So far, I've seen no confirmation of this. However, Abner has not posted on his Facebook page since 7/17/19, and Kim's last post to her Facebook page was on 8/28/19. Rhonda is not listed as a friend on either of their Facebook pages, but Kim is listed as a friend on Rhonda's Facebook page. There was no obit on Abner in their local newspaper (the Orange County Register), nor on Kim (but it would be too early for that at this time). Based on Kim's inclusion on Rhonda's friend list, it would appear that this is a legit report.

    Abner was a member of DI for over 15 years and had posted over 8,500 messages, currently the 6th highest count of all users.

    Last edited: Sep 16, 2019
  2. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    I'll wait on more confirmation than the lone post of a new user that we have no way of knowing whether or not has any connection to them.

    No obituary comes up on a web search, no one has posted a RIP message on either of their Facebook pages and none of their Facebook friends of the same last name (whom we can assume are most likely of the same family) have posted anything about it.

    Let's wait and see what comes of this.
  3. cookderosa

    cookderosa Resident Chef

    This is shocking news, I hope it's not true.
  4. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator Staff Member

    I hope it's not true but it's hard to imagine anyone making this up. I hope that anyone with more info will come forward.
  5. SteveFoerster

    SteveFoerster Resident Gadfly

    My god, this is really dreadful. It's not exactly confirmation, but this is from Abner's Facebook timeline:

    Maria Carrasco: I'm sorry - I don't know the details about Abner's passing -- it was unexpected and apparently there was organ failure involved ... not sure of the root cause but it was likely something underlying that was not known. I'm sure their families are completely overwhelmed with all of this so please pray for them. I will share any more info as it becomes available.
  6. Steve Levicoff

    Steve Levicoff Well-Known Member

    Where is Jimmy Clifton now that we need him?

    (Jimmy was the one who broke the news about Uncle Janko's death in January 2009. He was unofficially the death reporter on DI and DD for many years.)

    Ah, well . . . In honor of Abner and Kim, I shall refrain from any death jokes, at least for a day or two.
  7. Vonnegut

    Vonnegut Active Member

  8. Phdtobe

    Phdtobe Well-Known Member

    Very sad. Abner was one of my favourites. My condolences to both of the families.
    Maniac Craniac likes this.
  9. Rhonda Conoway

    Rhonda Conoway New Member

    I’m sorry everyone. I did not know Abner personally but I used to work with Kim. This sad news is true. I only joined this group to inform all of you.
    SteveFoerster likes this.
  10. Rhonda Conoway

    Rhonda Conoway New Member

    Heartbroken over the news of the passing of these two beautiful souls. Our long time friends Abner and Kim have joined each other in heaven ... just two weeks apart. :( Hard to imagine this has happened but trying to take comfort knowing they are together in God's perfect peace. I'll always remember them like this ... so full of life. <3 <3
    Maria Carrasco wrote this on Facebook
  11. sanantone

    sanantone Well-Known Member

    Very sad news. My condolences to their family and friends.
  12. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator Staff Member

    Rhonda - If an obituary ever appears please send us a link or otherwise post it here. Thanks for the news, even if it's very sad.
    SteveFoerster likes this.
  13. Rhonda Conoway

    Rhonda Conoway New Member

    I sure will.
    Maniac Craniac and SteveFoerster like this.
  14. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    Deborah Padavan's Facebook page. After scrolling through lots of pro-Trump stuff, one comes to this:
    "Please say a prayer, I did not know her, but she was a fellow peach sister who has lost her fight. Kimberly Lawless Ivora hadn't been on the group for about a year because she had made A page for her fight, so she could keep everyone updated. Sweet Kim Lost her battle yesterday. She had just had a birthday a few weeks ago and had posted updates on her condition which were no so good but postivie on new treatments. Im not sure what happen only that her bestfriend posted she was in a coma on life support. A few days prior she was hee upbeat self. Nonetheless she is no longer suffering and hee fight is now over. Rip"
  15. Steve Levicoff

    Steve Levicoff Well-Known Member

    Finally, a confirmation – Kim’s obit, which includes a note that she was predeceased by Abner:


    Along with the usual tribute comments, here’s the essence of the obit itself (emphasis added):

    Beloved daughter, Kimberly Suzanne Lawless Ivora left this world too soon on September 15th, 2019. Kimberly grew up in Cypress, Ca with her mother Phyllis and grandmother Sally, both of whom who adored her. Kimberly attended Cypress and Fullerton Colleges, graduating from Fullerton College in 2003 with an Associate Degree in Fine Arts.

    Kimberly was a lover of all animals, an avid reader, a poetic and poignant writer, a talented artist and cake decorator, as well as a passionate advocate for women's rights. She was introverted and outgoing. Funny and shy. Her gorgeous red, curly, and exceptionally long hair was a signature, along with her infectious smile and bigger-than-life laughter. She was a fiercely loyal friend, and her family meant everything to her.

    Kimberly was predeceased by High School Sweetheart turned husband of 27 years Abner Michael Ivora, Maternal Grandparents Tony and Sally Boscia , as well as other close relatives. She is survived by her Mother Phyllis Lawless of Ca who was her best friend, Father Martin John Lawless, Jr., of NH, Sisters Kathryn Bastinelli, Amy Ruth Wojtkun, Sarah Ann Lawless, and brother Riley Lawless. She is also survived by numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, other family members and many cherished friends.

    Please always remember Kimberly by living life to the fullest, remaining positive, and being as kind as possible to every living creature. Her memories will live on in all of us, and her bright and brilliant spirit will never go out.​

    Since she was laid to rest at one of the world-famous Forest Lawn locations, here is the ultimate tribute to Forest Lawn by folk singer/composer Tom Paxton:

    In other news, Abner and Kim are still dead. :D
  16. Phdtobe

    Phdtobe Well-Known Member

    I am truly sorry that Abner is no longer with us. I think he was a good guy. He came off as a humble down-to-earth person. A big loss for the DIers community. In the end, nothing matters.
    SteveFoerster likes this.
  17. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    I've been waiting for further confirmation before I made any comment on Abner's passing. Now that we have an obituary, and it looks legitimate, consider my skepticism put to rest.

    Abner was one of the first people I remember taking a strong liking to when I joined this site. He was a sincere, passionate, hard working and very smart fellow. He was very proud of his educational accomplishments, was an example of resounding success from NA degrees. His MBA was pennies on the dollar from even the least expensive RA programs, he was well educated in his program, and he received a massive pay boost for having his degree. As such, he became an outspoken proponent of National Accreditation and offered important insight from his experiences.

    In the last few years of his life, we long time members started to notice some changes in his posting style and his topics of interest. It seems like his deep love for his wife led to deep anxiety and sadness when her health started to fail her. In many ways, he just wasn't the same anymore, and it was pretty hard to watch. On a few instances, I even lost my own patience with him and responded brashly to things he said that I found disagreeable.

    The great thing about Abner as a person was that even during his hard times, and even when we were at odds, he didn't take it personally and still viewed me as a friend on this board. I felt the same way.

    I've never met anyone from DI in person, and I probably never will. I'm ok with that. However, in my short list of people I would have love to have met, Abner would be very near the top. He will be missed dearly. I will miss him. A lot. The beauty of DI is that he will not be forgotten, and we have his entire posting history to look back on and remember.

    In that sense, he will always be with us. We're sure to see his name in countless necromanced threads in the years to come, and we'll be reminded of what a gem of a person he was.
    SteveFoerster and cookderosa like this.
  18. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    I was discussing the Abner situation with a Roman Catholic friend. He says that suicide is regarded as a sin by most RCs, not only is their often no burial service, but no obituary either. Just wondering.
  19. Steve Levicoff

    Steve Levicoff Well-Known Member

    The quote that Steve F. provided would suggest that it was not a suicide, but one never knows - Abner was known to us as going through occasional depression (no wonder in light of everything Kim went through).

    If it were suicide, however, one could speculate that it was due to having NA degrees instead of RA degrees. Just speculating, of course, but it's enough to stress the importance of going for RA degrees. :D
  20. Phdtobe

    Phdtobe Well-Known Member

    This development makes me appreciate Abner even more. I never met the guy, but he seems that he was the kind of person one should have as a friend. His genuineness came through on DI.
    Maniac Craniac likes this.

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