The University of Random Access

Discussion in 'Accreditation Discussions (RA, DETC, state approva' started by Guest, Oct 29, 2005.

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  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Some lament that it seems like a new bogus online university, with non-existent faculty crops up just about 50 times a week.

    I noted on a thread here that three universities had the same text with THREE different versions (only the town name was changed).

    This got me thinking....

    So, in the spirit of levity -- I put together this page:

    http://members.shaw.ca/qtj/auto_u/

    It only works if you turn on your browser's JavaScript.

    There's an "Easter Egg" with this page (if your JavaScript is on). To find the egg -- click on the State of Oregon state shield.

    Now we can have 60 new universities every minute. This should keep Ezell and Bear busy for years without every having to change URLs!

    Have fun!
     
  2. George Brown

    George Brown New Member

    Quinn, whatever you are on my friend, I would like some please. Can this be mailed to me, legally? :D

    Cheers,

    George
     
  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I'm just in a good mood, I suppose. Thougtht I'd share some levity. (I don't know if levity has any import restrictions to Oz.)
     
  4. George Brown

    George Brown New Member

    Absolutely. No mirth permitted in Australia at the moment. This has been mandated by our revered leader Johny H.

    Cheers,

    George
     
  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Too bad.

    Hey, I noticed if one reloads the page for Random Access U. -- and reads that wonderfully scenic pastoral piece about Bogusham/Threedollarbillsham/Foniham .... the number of parishes and the population count ... seem to fluctuate. ;) (Just like a politician's public statements.)
     
  6. Jack Tracey

    Jack Tracey New Member

    Hey Quinn! Brilliant! It just has to be the thread of the week.
    :D
    Jack
     
  7. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I considered throwing in a 10% chance of the surname having "of" forms, such as:

    Paul Jacks-Doe of Cophigh
    David Smith-Lloyd of Doughnaught

    and possibly a random faculty generator (after all, the Department of Narceleptology needs a dean -- even one who's asleep on the job!)...

    However, I considered also the possibility of giving too many ideas away to someone who might actually do an .asp script version of this thing FOR REAL. Shudder!

    "All my friends went to University for the Sciences, and since I like to be contrarian, I went to The University of the Arts and Sciences instead, and as Robert Frost said, it made all the difference!"—Jane Thomas (LL.D. in Internetology)
     
  8. bullet

    bullet New Member

    great stuff

    Quinn,

    I am sorry for asking (I think you already said so, but I want to be sure).

    Did you create the webpage? It's really funny stuff.

    :D
     
  9. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Re: great stuff

    Yes -- coded it on a whim.

    "A D.D. in Dichotomy was my first choice. Life is about choices."—Jane Bloggs (D.Phil. in Herbology)
     
  10. bullet

    bullet New Member

    Esto esta buenisimooooo !!!

    De verdad que esta gracioso!

    Really cool !
     
  11. mattchand

    mattchand Member

    Re: Re: great stuff

    You seem to do more "on a whim" than many manage to accomplish after months of planning!

    Thanks for the comedy relief,

    Matt
     
  12. Bruce

    Bruce Moderator Staff Member

    Quinn.....excellent parody. :D
     
  13. Kit

    Kit New Member

    Quinn, keep this up and you will have to change your heraldry title to Sir Satirical. :D

    In that spirit, how about an appropriate Dept. Chair (and new academic dept.!) for URA:

    Sir Loin of Beef, Ph.DB, received his undergraduate degrees in Beefology by way of PEA (Prior Eating Assessment) from the Université D'Filet Mignon in France. His Doctorate of Beefology, awarded jointly by the Canadian and American Beef Councils, was obtained by his dissertation promoting the theory that despite possible dangers of artherosclerosis and/or brain-wasting prion disease, all North Americans should aspire to eat far more beef as the West was not won on salads. He was subsequently knighted on ye olde grazing lands at the Feed 'Em All Cholesterol Ranch.

    Sir Beef is Chair of URA's Department of Angus Cattle Heraldryology.


    Kit
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2005
  14. Guest

    Guest Guest

    The temptation to link to a "View our Faculty" page is strong... must resist whim... must not ... give in ... to ...levity...
     
  15. mattchand

    mattchand Member

    [picture of little guy with horns and tail, standing on QTJ's shoulder and whispering in his ear]

    MuHaHa.... It's OK, Quinn, you can link to the faculty page....heh heh.... in fact, you can create multiple departments.... MuHaHa!!
     
  16. Kit

    Kit New Member


    Quinn, ... see this coin moving back :) ... and forth :) ... and back :) ... and forth ... :) ... You are getting sleepy ... veddy sleepy .... levity is good ... levity is good ....

    Hmmm ...

    From Academic Programs:

    B.S. in Victimology (Note: Not to be confused with bachelor of science)

    Major requirements to include: Introduction to Slacking, Intermediate Slackery, Advanced Slackery, Non-Preparedness, Turning Won't into Can't, Introduction to Complaining, Complaining Without Cause, Advanced Audacity in Complaining, Creative Avoidance of Personal Responsibility, Pawning Off Responsibilities on Others, and upper division courses from the departments of Blaming Society Studies and Government Assistance Milking. The program concludes with a senior capstone project on Raising Lazy Children, with progress expected in the development of new techniques of conveying the message You're Special Because You Breathe. This program is based on the principles of SEIE, or Success Equals Intentions of Effort, therefore there will be no grading.

    Graduates of this program will be required to default on their student loans. They can eventually expect to find extensive front-line opportunities in the exciting fast food industry, uttering such phrases as "Would you like a side of self-esteem with that?".


    Kit
     
  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Oh, what the heck. Chapter 7 is done and off to the advisor, and 8 is well on its way, so:

    http://members.shaw.ca/qtj/auto_u/

    Stochastic Scholars now added. (May require a reload to flush cache to get revised version. You'll now you're at the new version of the background color is black.)
     
  18. ianmoseley

    ianmoseley New Member

    Very good, forwarded several ways alrady.

    I see that you've used the general blurb from the three I pointed out recently. It is in fact based on the description of Cheshire, a very pleasnt County (and a very nice cheese).
     
  19. Kit

    Kit New Member

    Excellent modifications. :D

    At the first second "A. Paul O'Geticks" seemed strange, then the light bulb clicked on. Ohhh ... it's A. Paul O'JETicks.

    Is that similiar to how Canadians pronounce 'about' as 'aboot'? (Or are they just so focused on their footwear?)

    Kit
     
  20. Guest

    Guest Guest

    The whole idea was, in fact, inspired by those three links you posted. It occurred to me that the whole three sites could be generated as an ASP script -- but lacking ASP server-side, I settled for JavaScript. I imagined a cookie-based site, where every visitor is presented with a different university, and always the same one when returning at a particular computer.

    I felt impelled to put PARODY behind the diplom-o-matic image -- what does that say about the state of affairs in the world?
     

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