SurfDoctor needs your advice about his daughter at UCLA.

This is a really good discussion because with my younger son I have something similar.
He is in high school and he likes Video Production. HE is doing a lot of work in this elective.

HE is planning to go to good Film school maybe USC or similar.
Not that he got accepted but the high school has great reputation and graduates go to Stamford, USC, Berkeley, Harvard, Yale, Columbia etc.

I don't know if this is the right choice for him, many graduates in Film / Video work for minimum wages crying and assembling equipment.

I think maybe technology or Comp Science degree as a second major or minor.

Also he decided to learn Latin wile I thought that he should learn another langue. He is doing really good job and getting A's in Latin, the teacher thinks that the class helps the students to be more logical thinkers etc. Maybe if my son decides to have medical field related career Latin can be useful.

 

We like to think we have all of the answers sometimes or what works for us will work for others and if it didn't work for us then it can't work for others. In reality, at best the experience is anecdotal. We think we are "wiser" simply because we think we were in a position that is similar, though not really, before and have something to offer. There are so many variables in every situation that it isn't likely anyone has been or ever will be in a "similar" situation. Has she asked for advice?

It sounds like you are concerned about her future, the value of the degree after graduation, and her getting the most out of life. Share those concerns with her, maybe she will share the many things that had led her to choosing one way or another, things that are individual to her and having nothing to do with anyone else.

You didn't say this but others have, but making her do what you want because you are paying for it is coercive at best. To me maintaining healthy productive relationships with my children and allowing them to function as individuals that can make informed intelligent decisions is my goal. Without even knowing your daughter I know that at 23 she can make a decision that will impact her future so greatly, even if it isn't the right decision for you. Let your years of parenting pay off.....

 

I concur with going for a double major - that way she has a career option should the jounalism path not work out. If the journalism path works out she could become a media "expert" in the second major field (e.g., economics, science, sports, business, music).

 

I wouldn't know what UCLA offers. She is 23, does not include me in this sort of stuff and resents it when I try to get too involved. However, I'm thinking about butting in with this one because I'm worried that she is going to regret her choice. But who knows?

 

Thanks for that. I'm going to bring that up the next time I talk to her.

 

There is always the option to earn MBA after her Bachelors degree.

Many schools accept Bachelors degree that is not in business in to MBA programs.
My relative got MBA from Cal State Nortrige, her BA was in History or something like that.

But double major sounds good as well.
Its a lot of hard work.

 

Gee, where have I seen that degree combo before?

 

My relative is working for LA County, She got bored with her job after doing some clerical work, data entry she used the benefits the County provides. Cal State Nortrige MBA is open for LA County employees with some preference, they get seat in classes that are hard to get etc.
After earning MBA she switched departments and now is a manager with 20 social workers case managers under her.
She went from 38K to 72K a year.

 

That's impressive. Food for thought.

 

I know many don't agree with my stance but I never agreed to pay for any of my children's college educations. But if I was paying, I would certainly want to be involved in their choices in the school.

Because I did not pay, I realized that ultimately they would be responsible for their own choices in school, but even this would not stop me from discussing it with them, sharing my concerns and any wisdom I had to share, and hoping they would take what I said into consideration when they made their decisions.

My oldest daughter was accepted to an Ivy League University (UPenn) and she went there her first year. At first, she thought she was going into pre-med. But soon, she decided she did not like that field and she started waivering about what she would major in, and it did seem like she was leaning toward journalism. This was 1998-99 and at that time, if this field seemed to have a dismal outlook, I was not aware of it. I did think she would be able to make a living doing it, so I was not extremely concerned. I did think it was better than being an "Art History" major or just having a liberal arts degree in about anything.

But then she ended up partying her way right out of that school. They told her to take a year off and get herself together and she could come back. She thought she was going to do exactly that but even though she was a 19 year old young adult, I decided this girl needed some serious parenting. My situation was unique because she was about the perfect child before that time. She went through school with no problems and was very driven, and obviously brilliant. She was valedictorian of her class. The last thing I ever expected was that she would party so much away at school that she would flunk out. She had never been grounded or anything like that (because she never did anything to warrant it that I know of) until her second half of her senior year in high school.

I didn't know until half way through that summer when she was home from college, that she had done so poorly her second semester that she was asked to take a year off. At first she thought she was going to take the year off, but for the first time in her life, I became that "controlling mom." I don't regret it though I don't really know how she feels about that summer in retrospect.

I told her flat out, you are not taking a year off and you are going to get back in school. We did not have time to choose from a multitude of great colleges, but I knew the local state schools, etc. would be happy to take her in spite of her bad first year at UPenn. I researched two schools I thought might be okay for her and then insisted we go see them, so we did. She chose one of them (a state school in PA, which is the state where we live). I pushed her to choose computer science as her major because it seemed to be something the school had a good reputation for and I knew she was good in math and such. Though I am in education myself, my areas of interest definitely lean toward math and computer science.

Well, she did extremely well at he new college.

After the first year, she came and talked to my high school class one day. It was then that I learned something she had not told me before. She told my class how she got into the field of computer science. She told part of the story of how she was pushed to go to that school and pushed into that major...and she said that as soon as her mom left her off at the school that day, she planned to immediately go and change her major! But she ended up attending some computer science meeting and a professor convinced her to stay and give it a chance.

She ended up marrying another computer science major whose father is a computer science professor there. They both were accepted at Virginia Tech for grad school. My daughter stayed at VT until she got her Ph.D. and then was immediately hired at MIT and she has a very prestigious position there (has been there 3 years now). Her husband stopped with the Masters but he is employed as Networking professional at the Harvard Library.

My second daughter was also valedictorian and was accepted at MIT, Princeton and Cornell. She ended up at Princeton and did well and graduated in 2008.

But she ultimately started out with the idea of majoring in physics or some engineering field. She ended up majoring in Asian Cultures! I did not pay for her education there (she got grants for the entire thing) so this was not something I felt I had a huge say in, though I would speak my mind if I thought she would end up with limited employment opportunities after getting her degree.

She has earned her Masters at University of Illinois, in the same field, and is continuing on at the University of Washington to get her Ph.D. in the same field.

Based on the types of internships and experiences she has (spending summers in Japan, China, Korea, etc.) I am very confident that she will be very employable and I'm not the least bit worried.

 

You took the words out of my mouth. That, or a double major with something immediately marketable.

 

Another related area is technical writing. I see plenty of jobs advertised in this area, mostly related to the government in some way. I would assume that one would gain this experience through apprenticeships.

Here is some information on this field: Technical Writers : Occupational Outlook Handbook : U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

 

Any updates on the situation? I'd love to hear how it turned out.

 

Yes, believe it or not, she will graduate next spring. She said it's tough, but rewarding. Thanks for asking.

 

What? That's great. It seems like yesterday when you told us she would be attending UCLA.

Tell her Abner said CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! UCLA is tough!!!!!

 

What major did she end up choosing? Does she have any job prospects? Are you at peace with her choice?