Men: Teach your son/nephew/cousin how to shake hands!

You are absolutely correct. But when he built a community center for seniors in little Italy, quite a few thought differently of him (even though he was a mobster).

 

Re: Re: Men: Teach your son/nephew/cousin how to shake hands!

Someone in a restroom once asked me, "Didn't your momma teach you to wash your hands after using the restroom?"

I told him, "No sir. My momma taught me not to pee on my hands."

 

We have long since learned that good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things. He couldn't buy my affection with a community center, especially since I know that his intention in building the community center was to allow him enough positive pr so that he could go on doing terrible things (in a quieter, less publicized manner.)
Jack
BTW - as a cultural artifact, handshakes mean only what you allow them to mean. The original poster betrays his prejudices by not including females. My daughter will know how to shake hands, and perhaps more importantly, she will know how and when to refuse.

 

I'm also just downright prejudiced against those who don't bother to read my entire post, then proceed to point out my alleged prejudices.

 

That's Public Relations 101 for criminals. Back in the late 1980's, there was a drug kingpin in Boston named Darryl Whiting. He literally took total control of the Orchard Park housing project in Roxbury.

He'd pay crack-addicted mothers with drugs to use their apartments to sell drugs. He also would spend tens of thousands of dollars to start a community center, sponsor trips for the neighborhood kids to amusement parks, give away free Thanksgiving turkeys, etc. Almost everyone in the neighborhood loved him.

However, he was a stone-cold killer. He was never tried for many of the murders he committed, because the witnesses were too scared to testify.

I worked on the Whiting case, and I actually arrested him a few times. Unfortunately, my National Guard unit was activated & I was on active duty for the first Gulf War when they finally scooped him for the serious Federal charges.

There was a movie made about this case a few years ago. It's called In Too Deep. The film takes place in Baltimore, but it's totally based on the Whiting case in Boston. The main character is the cop who went undercover to infiltrate Whiting's gang. The movie detective's name is "Jeff Cole". The real cop's name was Jeff Coy. The movie detective's undercover name is "Jay Reid". The real cop's undercover name was "Jay Reed".

Unfortunately, the real cop who infiltrated Whiting's gang committed suicide a few years ago. The last time I saw him alive, he was excited that Hollywood had bought the rights to his life story. Too bad they totally screwed-up the real story.

 

Gotti was also responsible for the murder of many individuals. But when he died of cancer (while in prison) in June of 2002, thousands lined the streets (Ozone Park, Queens, NY) on the day of his funeral to pay tribute. Today are a few buildings and land structures that bear his name.
True, crime doesn't pay. Gotti got what he deserved, but try telling that to the citizens of New York who hailed him as a local hero.

 

In my experience there is so much more that is vital to teach one's sons: to control tempers ; to avoid courts ; to care about others ; to resist bad habits ; to admit responsibilities and faults and do something about them ; to have a good work ethic ; to love parents and family. I wish the vital thing to teach were a firm handshake, then I could count myself a success-- instead of believing myself to be a failure -- as I do.

 

Pocket bottle of hand sanitizing gel.
This is a must.

________


Bill: Biochemistry is not your fault. Nor are others' choices.

 

Bill,
Given your background, academic accomplishments, strong family values, religious principles and dedication to country, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You've done better than most. There are thousands of people who would like to walk in your shoes.

 

==

Roy

That's a very kind and caring response, thankyou.

Despite Unk's post, though, one begins to blame himself , his genes and his parenting, when faced with the fact that he has two sons approching 30 who are both dysfunctional in practically any measurable area of personal and social competence.

But perhaps neither is it wholly their fault.The one, a former Marine, [yes I know, "Once a Marine, always a Marine,"- Right!!!], is diagnosed with PTSD and has been in the crisis center recently twice in as many weeks, and the other, under court order to do anger management, woke me last night as the firecrackers going off upset him--he is just back from Iraq.

Nevertheless, regardless of etiologies, what my sons now are is incompetent. But I love them as a father and my wife and I pray that before we "go" they will at last "arrive."

Would to God teaching them to have a firm handshake would fix it all! I could teach them that!

 

===


In that case, what am I bid for my shoes?

 

Time will heal, Bill, time will heal.

Whenever the roof caves in, I remember the words to the poem my stepfather always used to recite (he knew the words to other poems, but this is the one he used to recite when times were hard):

http://www.bestclips.com/poem-invictus.html

We do our best, Bill, as parents, as husbands, and that's all we can do. We're all lost travelers on Life's Road.

I met a lost traveler once,
wandering on the road,
letting his direction fall to Chance,
his steps not all that bold.

When I asked his destination,
he could not tell me where;
of whence, he said, "Consternation!
Don't we all begin there?"

I offered to walk a while with him,
and for some time, we talked
and shared our stories, grand and grim,
as we two lightly walked.

When it came the time to depart
his gentle company,
I knew at once, with sudden start:
that traveler was me.

I do not know where I shall end
this trek along life's path,
or e'en begin to comprehend
the sum of marching's math.

But if I e'er meet him again
along this random way
perhaps I'll know where I have been
and have much more to say.

All best wishes for you and your family. God bless.

 

Quinn

Thankyou for your good wishes and for sharing the wisdom of that poem..