50-words-stories

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Mac Juli, Dec 7, 2020.

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  1. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    Hello!

    This is a new thread for 50-word-stories, related (at least somehow) to distance learning in the broadest sense. Enjoy!!

    Best regards,
    Mac Juli
     
  2. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    “A BA in four hours?”, the candidate asked. “Yes, there will be no problems. If you’re qualified, the testing and formalities will not take more time .” – The candidate applied the electrodes to his brain. He wondered how a similar situation was handled in the early times of the net.
     
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  3. TeacherBelgium

    TeacherBelgium Active Member

    Once upon a time I went to the grocery store to pick up some bottles of champaign for the festivities that are about to come and I met this very attractive person and we got into a conversation because an annoying cashier made us both laugh and before I knew we exchanged numbers and now I'm here with butterflies.
     
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  4. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    Hello!

    Well, I am happy for you, but the story has nothing to do with distance learning and the word count is 59 according to my word processing program! :)

    Best regards,
    Mac Juli
     
    Maniac Craniac likes this.
  5. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member


    “Come on, Mac. Why don’t you just hire a cheap ghostwriter for your thesis? Many more do! No one will ever know!!” – “No one? Are you sure? You most certainly would. The writer would and he could easily keep the bill to blackmail me.

    But, worst of all, I would.”
     
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  6. TeacherBelgium

    TeacherBelgium Active Member

    On a cold December day someone in Belgium graduated with not one but two masters on the same day. International trade and management and team management are the names. The ENEB department had hands too short to read all the extensive papers this person produced. '' Nunca mas'', they said.
     
  7. Thorne

    Thorne Active Member

    O great and merciless higher education, what is thine purpose? To make us old, to bleed our souls, or perhaps to tear us apart? Nay, I say, I shall find a new way, a new path, a new track that others have not wrought. A digital experience shall be mine!

     
  8. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    Ken read the email in his surface-pod near the edge of Tharsis Plain:
    "Congratulations, Prof. Hines. The Accreditation Commission has fully approved First Martian Distance University. Your PDF certificate is attached and is valid for five years...."
     
    Last edited: Dec 16, 2020
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  9. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    Nice, but the word count is 37. The challenge is that the word count is exactly 50. :)- Regarding the .pdf thing, I have no doubt that one will keep using .pdf for a veeery long time, even after the colonisation of Mars!
     
  10. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    I figured it would be way more efficient than getting a paper document to Mars. Sorry - I didn't notice the part about EXACTLY 50. I thought that was an upper limit. I'll try again.
     
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  11. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    Just noticed myself: I did not explicitely state it here. In the other thread ("What are you reading"), I wrote that I read the contributions to a competition named "UO50", and the task was "writing a text with exactly 50 words".
    My bad. So, to clarify:

    Each story here is supposed to have exactly 50 words.
     
  12. Steve Levicoff

    Steve Levicoff Well-Known Member

    I can't be bothered with writing a specific number of words. However, this rather amusing goal reminds me of a tweet sent a few years back by Steve Martin:

    Did you know it’s possible to Tweet a concise, grammatical, correctly punctuated sentence that is exactly one hundred forty characters long?

    At the time, tweets were limited to a maximum of 140 characters and Martin, an accomplished playwright as well as a comedian (not to mention a wild and crazy guy) was commenting on the absurd abbreviations in which many tweet writers engaged. (I honestly don't know if they still have that limitation in length. I recall hearing that it had been removed, but since I have never sent nor received a tweet, I have no idea. Nor any interest.)

    And don't bother counting the quote - Martin got it right at exactly 140 characters, including spaces.
     
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  13. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    "Got another writing gig for you, Kevin: increasing traffic on a Degree Forum. Interact with the "regulars," keep it moving. You'll post under fifteen fake names, like "Maniac, " "Johann," "Levicoff," "Lerner," "Stanislav." None of them exist. Sound OK?"

    "I've seen that forum. Only if they pay really well. Do they?"
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2020
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  14. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    That "Steve" gets everything right! :)
     
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  15. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    "Hello. I'd like to know approximately what Doctoral Studies cost, there at University of South Africa."
    "$44,000 US in tuition, plus books and incidentals."
    "That's more than I thought! I thought UNISA was --- more reasonable."
    "It seemed reasonable to us, when we set the rate: $2,200 yearly for 20 years."
     
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  16. TeacherBelgium

    TeacherBelgium Active Member

    " 'Are the exams taking place presentially, despite the worsening Covid numbers?' , I asked the coordinator of the postgraduate in tax.
    'They will take place in a theater building. That way we can keep enough distance while still providing the drama people come for, when buying a ticket for the theater.' "
     
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  17. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    Of course, I did. 10 times; and then I took the arithmetic mean. I got 140.2. Close enough to confirm the initial hypothesis!!
     
  18. Mac Juli

    Mac Juli Well-Known Member

    The student took, just out of interest, a course in a subject he already knew. – At least, he thought this. Darn, he thought. Alvin Toffler was right all along. The real illiterates, he told in the book “future shock”, will be those who cannot unlearn and relearn a given subject.
     
  19. Johann

    Johann Well-Known Member

    "All right then. Thorne is the clear winner. His little epigram is a jewel. By far the best."
    "What's Johann gonna say - c'mon, you know how he gets!"
    "Too bad for Johann. He has to face it - he's been outclassed."
    "Guess you're right ... got the $10,000? Let's tell Thorne now..."
     
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  20. TeacherBelgium

    TeacherBelgium Active Member

    '' Hello, do you want to subscribe for the upcoming VAT-exam on 5th of January 2021? '', Linda, the postgraduate-coordinator, asked.
    '' I do.''
    '' Pay the 50 euro examination fee before the 23th of December, 2020.''
    ''Is that VAT included? "
    " it's included".
    "Can I deduct it?"
    "Read your subject matter."
     
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