Saint Regis faculty - a modest compendium of terms

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by bgossett, Jan 5, 2004.

  1. bgossett

    bgossett New Member

    Faceless - An SRU faculty torso, awaiting facing.

    Facing - The Photoshop steps required in joining a head to a torso when creating SRU faculty graphics. Facing generally includes square hair, neck/collar misalignment, stripe removal on ties, pigmentation blunders, and etc.

    Background check - An aesthetic evaluation of the image area surrounding the head/torso join in an SRU faculty graphic.

    Deface - The process of preparing an SRU faculty torso for assumption of a new head.

    Face-off - A successful defacing with no damage to the torso.

    Face, the music - An informal name for the dean of the SRU music department.

    Lose face - A graphics file misadventure necessitating use of secondary images.

    Head on straight - An injunction presented to new SRU faculty members at the virtual orientation.

    Faced - A completed SRU faculty member graphic needing only creation of suitable biographic details for inclusion on the faculty page.

    Sh*t-faced - General appearance of an SRU faculty face resulting from too many transfers to other torsos using a secondary image rather than a primary image.

    Putting on a happy face - A tactic employed whenever the overall impression generated by the SRU faculty page seems too somber.

    About face - A head/torso orientation problem occasionally affecting SRU ROTC faculty.

    Head and shoulders - The standard SRU faculty meld graphic, the more difficult manipulations required in affixing detachable hands being thus eliminated.

    Faceplate - A very painful procedure, involving caustic solutions and electrodes, generally performed in the SRU chemistry laboratories.

    Face-lift - 1. promotion of a faculty member 2. a technical procedure in Photoshop that unfortunately generally results in neck rugae.

    Facedown, Faceup - Very important faculty selection criteria at SRU. If graphics submitted with an application for a faculty position exhibit too much of one or the other of these characteristics, the photo may be unsuitable for facing and the application rejected. Prospects are encouraged to study existing faculty graphics for clues as to the most desired camera angles.

    Facesaving - A potential SRU faculty member on the wait list.

    Face value - More important than torso value in judging tenure possibilities.

    Head over heels - A juxtaposition seen only rarely and committed by green SRU faculty creationists. Related: Head-to-toe, Head up his a**.

    Head in the sand - An accidental problem resulting from the premature ejection of the SRU faculty clip-art CD from the campus computer. This phenomenon was confined to the time period when SRU was domiciled on Dominica.
  2. uncle janko

    uncle janko member

    ROFLMAO! (But my face is still where, and as, it was.)
  3. roysavia

    roysavia New Member

    Hey wait a left out the nose and ear jobs! A couple of these profs remind me of Disney characters.:eek:
  4. bgossett

    bgossett New Member

    Self-effacing - Torsoless heads, no longer appearing on the SRU faculty page.

    Head lice - Pixel gremlins from deteriorating jpegs.

    Headshrinker - A toolbar button on the SRU custom faculty fabricator software that automatically resizes heads to fit smaller torsos.

    Swelled Head - A serious, often incurable, affliction wherein SRU faculty begin to believe their own SRU doctorates are actually real.

    Adjunct faculty - At SRU, a face borrowed from outside the organization and situated atop a stock torso.

    Headmistress - The person at SRU in physical control of the faculty clip-art CD.

    Just another pretty face - Reaction to new faculty at SRU.

    Face IT - SRU's CS faculty.

    Preface - see Faceless.

    Head count - The SRU faculty roster. The SRU mathematics faculty once calculated that, on any given day, this figure can approximate the torso count simply out of coincidence.

    The face that launched a thousand ships - The nautical engineering faculty at SRU.
  5. oxpecker

    oxpecker New Member

    Giving head - ...
  6. roysavia

    roysavia New Member

    Is SRU marketing a new Mr. Potatohead? It was a great toy when I was a kid. It's too bad that the faculty of SRU has mimicked the interchangeable parts of a toy potato.
    :eek: :D
  7. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much, Bill. That was most enjoyable.
  8. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    So now we're done with that topic and can, um, forge a-
  9. galanga

    galanga New Member

    lunchtime at 73 Carey Street (or is it Fardoun Building #2?)

    1. Cerveaux Saint Regis
    2. Sweetbreads
    3. Head cheese
    4. Friday's special: International Fore Mortuary Feast
    5. Kuru crostini
    6. Meaty neckbones and black-eyed peas

    yecch, enough.

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