Power of Curtain Rods & Fishbowls

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Bill Huffman, Mar 10, 2005.

  1. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    There's a certain Swift Eagle that likes to demonstrate his awesome powers to grant degrees by wearing Bishops costumes, by holding curtain rods and by claiming to be a Russian cosmonaut. I personally question how swift Mr. Swift Eagle actually is but we should probably just chalk this up to jealousy on my part because all my curtain rods are hanging above my windows and I don't have one to simply hold in order to impress my friends and relatives.

    Anyway, I've searched the web looking for someone that might have anything approaching both the symbolic and real power held by Dr. Chief Swift Eagle. This was the best I could come up with.

  2. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2005
  3. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    Apparently, you missed the saga of the Star Wars kid (see here). :D
  4. marilynd

    marilynd New Member

    Nah! No comparison! She is just too cute.

  5. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Re: Re: Power of Curtain Rods & Fishbowls

    Okay, it is true that the cuteness of this little sweetie would demonstrate far greater power in the world than the Dr. Chief Swift Eagle picture. So, let us just try to ignore that cuteness factor and instead consider the power of the fishbowl helmet and the model of the shuttle. I would guess that those items would be roughly equivalent to a Bishop's costume and curtain rod for pure degree granting power.

    The whole point being that Dr. Chief Swift Eagle Justice has at least two religious costumes, a curtain rod (that is the largest on the web page), multiple medals, a certificate of Russian princeability, and a claim to being cosmonaut which I can only guess totals up somehow to super degree granting power. I will have to leave the defense of this super degree granting power to our own russ, since I tend to believe in accreditation more. I'm only trying to point out how fun it is to consider it from a quantitative point of view. I'll give Dr. Chief Swift Eagle a twelve point four on this quantitative scale of degree granting power.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 11, 2005
  6. uncle janko

    uncle janko member

    Now, now. The shills have already taken us to task for making fun of the man and not his ideas.

    Solemn promise, handtogod, and I want y'all to walk the sawdust trail and give yore hearts to--

    If the archcosmoprince has any ideas I solemnly promise to make fun of them. IF.


    (yore name heer)
  7. nosborne48

    nosborne48 Well-Known Member

    degree granting power

    Hm. This is an interesting concept from an engineering standpoint...Degree Granting Power (abr. DGP)...what units, I wonder? or is it a pure number?

    Hmm. Hmm.

    How about we define it this way?

    DGP=100*(no. of GAAP universities worldwide that will accept the institution's degrees)/(no. of GAAP universities worldwide)

    Oxford has a DGP of 100.

    Chief Rumblechicken? 0
  8. nosborne48

    nosborne48 Well-Known Member

    oh, dear!

    My proposed formula completely IGNORES the CRLF! (Curtain Rod Length Factor)
  9. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Re: oh, dear!

    I think that CRLF should be taken into account in the formula.

    Some may argue that my estimating a 12.4 degree granting power is purely arbitrary and meaningless, others may argue that it is just silly. I only argue that as a point on the real number line with no context, it would be almost as difficult to prove wrong as it would be to prove it was correct. I think that this whole subject is worthy of a dissertation from an unaccredited institution with a degree granting power of less than 54.7.
  10. nosborne48

    nosborne48 Well-Known Member

    I THINK that the CRLF might be a transcendental number. It should be plain that the circumference of the curtain rod is going to offset the effect of mere length.

    Three significant digits?
  11. nosborne48

    nosborne48 Well-Known Member

    Anyway, here as everywhere else, SIZE MATTERS!
  12. Jake_A

    Jake_A New Member

    nosborne48 and BillH,

    You forgot the alcohol proof (percent) factor!

    Multiply zero (as in zilch, nada, nuffin) by the CRLF raised to the to the DGP'th power times the alcohol proof factor to obtain the number of accredited and legitimate universities worldwide that recognize and accept his DGP.

    I am willing to bet that the sweetly-adorned cutie shown in this picture
    knows the answer to this calculation.

    The website of Dr.SwiftChiefCosmoCurtainRodder states clearly that he is ......

  13. Wild Bill

    Wild Bill New Member

    Re: Re: Re: Power of Curtain Rods & Fishbowls

    I just joined this forum today as I'm looking for a grad program available via distance learning and lo and behold ---- there are all types of forum threads and links to the above-referenced character. Okay, it is obviously some type of inside joke. Would someone please explain the who, what, where, when, and why of this grotesque cartoonish caricature. I apologize in advance in case this person is a forum icon in an imaginative Halloween costume or (gasp) somebody's relative.
  14. nosborne48

    nosborne48 Well-Known Member

    You mean Michael Jackson?
  15. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Hi Wild Bill,

    It may be true that it is an inside joke. It is also just as possible though that we simply have a strange sense of humor.

    The best I can do to turn the inside joke, right side out is my second post in this thread.

    Have fun,
    Another Bill
  16. Deb

    Deb New Member

    To us it's a joke, to Dr. Swift Turkey it's a career.

    Seriously, do you think anyone would really send this guy money? Even as a degree mill he's pretty out there. How dumb would a person have to be to think a degree from him....

    Oh, never mind. I watched people give a horse psychic money this week. Do you think Dr. Justice can read animals' minds too? He is multi-talented.

  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    As strange as this dude is and as hard to believe that he takes himself serioulsy let alone anyone else......I know of someone who got two degrees from this dude and honest to goodness believed that he earned degrees with barbequing for credit, etc.

    Did PT Barnum not say......

    On another note, where did he get all of this paper and is he himself gullible enough to beleive he is a Prince in the Royal family.

    Ps Contreras cracked me up in his orginal post something about "glitz and sham".

  18. Bill Huffman

    Bill Huffman Well-Known Member

    Yes he is and I would also like to mention something else in regards to the following.

    I did not libel His Eminence, Dr. Swift Eagle Justice. I was not paid by anyone to mention Dr. Swift Eagle Justice or to start up this thread. However, if there is anyone that is willing to pay me $10,000,000.00 to slander or libel His Eminence, Dr. Swift Eagle Justice, as His Eminence seems to state above then I will seriously consider libeling His Eminence and take my chances in court.
  19. galanga

    galanga New Member

    full circle

    I believe a similar discussion took place a year or two ago: it was remarked that Swift Eagle (or was it 6Dr. Hoyer??) should sue himself for defamation since he was far more skilled at ruining his own reputation than anyone else. And that was before the curtain rod and funny hat.
  20. uncle janko

    uncle janko member

    Owoo! Howlin' at the moon funny, Bill!

    But on second thought...

    H.E. said "excellent reputation" not just "reputation."

    That could gum up the works.

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