Democratic Convention Agenda

AP revealed the last day of the Democratic Convention:

DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION AGENDA [times in PM]
6:00 Opening flag-burning ceremony.
6:05 Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al Sharpton.
6:30 Anti-Bush concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40 Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 Tribute to France.
7:25 Tribute to Germany.
7:45 Anti-war rally [Moderated by Michael Moore].
8:25 Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:00 Gay marriage ceremony [both male and female couples]. 10:00 Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins. 10:10 Re-enactment of Kerry's fake medal toss.
10:40 Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 Pledge of allegiance to the United Nations.
11:15 Maximizing Welfare Benefits Workshop.
11:59 Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:30 Kennedy offers Hillary a ride home, she accepts with the proviso that he drives a convertabile with the top down, and if they have to cross a bridge, he supplies life jackets! Uh, does anyone have a question?

 

Republican National Convention Forecast

AP revealed a preview of the last day of the Republican Convention:

REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA [times in PM]
6:00 Opening with Horst-Wessel Song.
6:05 Opening fire & brimstone prayers calling for eternal damnation of all gays, liberals, and drug users by Rev. Jerry Falwell and Rev. Pat Robertson.
6:30 Anti-Civil Rights concert by the dug up and re-animated body of Frank Sinatra.
6:40 George Bush proposes a toast, accompanied by a snort of coke.
7:00 Tribute to Germany - the 30s.
7:25 Tribute to Saudi Arabia - the present.
7:45 Anti-liberals rally [Moderated by Rush Limbaugh].
8:25 George Bush sneaks a toke.
9:00 Moralizing ceremony [only males allowed to speak].
10:00 Posting the Saudi colors by Dick Cheney and George H. W. Bush.
10:10 Re-enactment of Bush's run for cover during the 'Nam years.
10:40 George Bush loads up his crack pipe.
10:50 Pledge of allegiance to the New Order.
11:15 Maximizing Corporate Welfare Workshop.
11:59 George Bush lights pipe.
12:30 Cheney offers Condoleeza a ride home, she accepts with the proviso that he drives a BMW and knows how to handle his stick!

Uh, does anyone have a question?

 

ROTFLMAO

CARL,
well done. I knew someone would step up to the plate. I don't know which one is funnier. ROTFLMAO

 

LOL on this end too.....