Discussion in 'General Distance Learning Discussions' started by PhiloScholar, Oct 30, 2005.

  1. PhiloScholar

    PhiloScholar Member

    Hello all,

    I've decided to drop this whole "get a real degree" thing, and start my own diploma mill.

    My school offers a Ph.D. in [Bubble Gum Making] for 56 semester credits, plus a 100 page thesis and a required 6-month intership at the school. Each credit will cost $250.00, and I will accept 1 credit in transfer...with a $100.00 processing fee. Courses and candy making kits will be nonexistent, so we'll just pretend you did the work. Send the money, get the diploma.

    You can also get a certificate in Taffy-Pudding Distribution during your "fourth year of studies" - which again, does not actually take place (for about $500.00). The school will be located in candyland, just down the street from Willy Wonka's factory on chocolate ave.

    Interested parties, should send $1000 (to help pay for the school's diploma mill press ink), plus an application fee of say...$150.00 .

    Accredidation is through the newly created (through my own hard effort) "International Budget Committee For Self-Employed Educators and Investment Bankers".

    Details to follow....

    - S.

    P.S.: LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I was simply making a point. There is no such school by my creation, nor any accredidation through my making.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 30, 2005
  2. mattchand

    mattchand Member

    Good effort, Rev. Shawn, but I would have to say that the "satire bar" has been raised mighty high by the recent shenanigans of Sir Quinn Tyler of Jackson. Tough act to follow. ;)


  3. PhiloScholar

    PhiloScholar Member

    Re: reply

    I guess to show that even I could create a phony school from nothing...and how unrational and stupid the whole idea would be. That was the point. I've been reading many posts on this site dealing with diploma mills, and just decided to jump on the band wagon - if only for a moment. It was not meant to be a waste of time, but to illustrate a point through humor. Because that is exactly what these mills are...a big, huge, joke. To coin a phrase, its "Reverse Psychology".

    - S.
  4. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    I think it would have more panache if you made it a 'foreign' institution:

    Universidad del Chicle de Globo
    Università di Gomma da Masticare
  5. PhiloScholar

    PhiloScholar Member

    LOL...Thanks Dr. B.

    - Shawn
  6. miguelstefan

    miguelstefan New Member

    Darn, I was about to sign up.
  7. Jigamafloo

    Jigamafloo New Member

    Don't tease me - my Doctoral dissertation was going to be on "Bubbliscious vs. HubbaBubba chewers - which are inherently more successful"?

    The research would be based on a week of observation recording the amount of gum I scraped off of my shoes, and the relative prosperity of the cretins that spit it out to begin with
  8. PhiloScholar

    PhiloScholar Member

    Now, that is a student hard at work on discovering the true meaning of academia. Find a need and fill it, is what I always say.

    .......Ewww, I just realized how unappealing your research would have been for that topic. I can never look at gum the same way again....

    - Shawn
  9. Jack Tracey

    Jack Tracey New Member

    Oh GREAT! :(
    Now what am I supposed to do with my 100 page dissertation on The Hermeneutics of Bazooka Joe?
  10. PhD2B

    PhD2B Dazed and Confused

    Re: Re: Degree Mill: BUBBLE GUM UNIVERSITY

    You wrote a dissertation?

    I was going to get my degree based on life experience. :D
  11. Jack Tracey

    Jack Tracey New Member

    My big brother got the gum. I got the comics.
    That is my life experience.
    (BTW, what is wrong with that Ursula?)
  12. PhiloScholar

    PhiloScholar Member

    You guys are great...I was hoping it would be taken as fun.

    I am just laughing at this stuff.

    - Shawn
  13. PhD2B

    PhD2B Dazed and Confused

    That explains the need for a dissertation.

    Your brother got the gum, thus he got the life experience. ;)
  14. Kit

    Kit New Member

    Jack, your glass was still half full. Comics don't promote cavities.

    PhiloScolar, cute parody. Hope no one's bubble is burst once they realize your new university is only the flavor-of-the-moment mill. That could get sticky.


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