Bear needs title for cookbook, offers prize

(Never Say You) Kant in the Kitchen:
An Existential View of Cooking

FulFilling all Requirements for the Degree of
PhD KC (Kantonese Cooking)
Earlscroft University

by John Bear, PhD
Michigan State University
(when it was accredited)

Abstract: If you Kant stand the heat get out of the kitchen. It requires actual praxis to boil eggs and discern the questions of life, such as the chicken and egg controversy. (Kant, Cooking Paradoxes and Life).

Chapter 1
Research question: which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Theory synthesized from the biological arts: the primordial soup was very hot. Whichever cooked first--the chicken or the egg--will be the last to emerge because it must wait for the primordial soup to cool.

Research results: the Chicken.

Chapter 2
Literature review: no credible source provided detailed instructions for egg boiling. This had to be synthesized from omelette preparation theory. There were a crapload of chicken recipes, however.

Chapter 3
Methodology: cook an egg and a chicken at the same time; see which one cooks first.

Research limitations: the burner used to cook the chicken was a lot bigger than the burner used to cook the egg.

Chapter 4
Results: the egg cooked WAY faster than the chicken. Therefore, chickens emerged from the primordial soup much sooner.

Chapter 5
Future research: cook the egg and chicken using the same-sized burner. Results may vary.

Citations:
Crocker, B. Betty Crocker's Cookbook, 1949, p. 148.

Kant, E. Cooking Paradoxes and Life, 1802, p. (back cover).

 

I see no Approval Page, Table of Contents, and your bibliography fails to list sufficent and current primary sources. Are you sure you studied your Thesis and Project Guide?

 

Just send me the degree; I've paid my money. Also, I looked into every B. Crocker book from 1933 to 1999; that's approximately 30 or 50 books, maybe more.

 

I am wondering what title was chosen?

Thanks!

 

Degree Meal

 

Jimmy Clifton asks: I am wondering what title was chosen?

It has to be chosen by January 18, and the publisher is full of indecision -- even thinking about a little publishing history by issuing the same book with two titles, and see which one does better.

Finalists:
Strange Breadfellows
(from Ellen Crowley)
The Adventursome Chef
(from NicoleHUX)
The Unusual Cookbook
(no one's favorite, but no one rejects)

 

I did like food for thought. but the bear/ursa seem to be such a wonderful image it is hard not to use it. It also would give you some "branding" for the cookbook niche that other names/images don't allow.

"A Bear in the Kitchen"

I think the VT Teddy Bear Company would love to have a companion cooking bear. VT Teddy makes all kinds of bears (graduation, nurse, lawyer etc.)
Borrowing from yan can cook

"A Bear Can Cook"

Bears in the wild eat almost everything from berries to salmon. So I can see the illustrated cover with a Dr. Bear and a Teddy sitting down at a table with a variety of sample dishes.
Happy Culinary Arts!
All the best!

 

Why not just go with the obvious?

Strange Breadfellows: an Unusual Cookbook for the Adventuresome Chef.

I kind of like the idea of having the chef bear. Have you considered a cross-promotion? Of course, it would be embarrassing if the bear did better than the book. {g}

Does your publisher realize the markets that will do the best are those with DI regulars who will make sure the title stays face out at their local bookstores, and perform other acts of not-too-random stealth marketing? {eg}

 

Upon further reflection, it's not the cookbook itself that's unusual, but rather what resides therein. Therefore:

Strange Breadfellows: Unusual Recipes for the Adventuresome Chef

Of course, next I expect to be hearing about the 13-week PBS series produced by KQED Cooking with Bear to which Strange Breadfellows will of course be the best selling companion volume.

 

Nicole writes, Does your publisher realize the markets that will do the best are those with DI regulars who will make sure the title stays face out at their local bookstores, and perform other acts of not-too-random stealth marketing?

John replies: This is one of the first things you learn at "How to be an author" school. Lots of people do it for each other. It may only sell six more books, but it is so satisfying. When we were both starting out, my friend Jay Conrad Levinson and I used to do it for each other (and ourselves).

Incidentally, in the stealth marketing game, Jay once performed a remarkable act. I was on a cookbook tour, and had been scheduled to be on live TV in Cleveland and Chicago at about the same time. Jay lived in Chicago then, and he had a copy of my book. So, while I (large and, then, hairy) was doing "Good Morning, Cleveland," Jay (skinny and balding) pretended to be me on "AM Chicago." It worked well -- and I still wonder how often this kind of thing is done?

 

There is a title, and not the one we expected. Long talks with the publisher and his designer this evening. Backing and forthing up the wazoo. End result:
Not Your Mother's Cookbook
subtitled
Unusual Recipes for the Adventuresome Cook
For the $500 prize offer, they decided on 80% to someone named Hope Wile, who submitted it; we don't know who she is; and 20% for her contribution to the subtitle to Nicole-HUX who posts here. Many thanks for all the fine suggestions, which will all be acknowledged by name in the book; and ongoing thanks for those who volunteered to test recipes; Marina will be in touch with you shortly.

 

Merchandising may be difficult. The "not your mother" doll, t-shirts, and jokebooks may sell.
But the "adventuresome cook" doll, t-shirt doesn't sound like it could compete with Harry Potter.

 

irat points out: Merchandising may be difficult. The "not your mother" doll, t-shirts, and jokebooks may sell.

We were talking about endorsements this morning. Problem is, the only famous people I've know well enough to ask are dead (John Steinbeck, Carl Rogers, Jonas Salk). The thought of channelled testimonials came to mind. So did the notion of finding, for instance, an obscure Tibetan willing to comment, whom we could identify as "Not the Dalai Lama." Similarly, the guy named George Bush who lives in our neighborhood, who could be identified as "Not the President."

O, but that's silly, and we'd never be silly, would we?

On the third hand, if there are people within the sound of my keyboard who happen to either be or know people with either reputations or impressive (even if highly irrelevant*) titles, who might wish to consider saying a few words in exchange for a free advance copy and a hearty handshake, do let me know. Serious question, that was. ([email protected])

______
*I will probably, for instance, ask my friend Jay Conrad Levinson, author of all those 'guerilla marketing' books, if he'd make a comment about guerilla cooking or something.

 

That Jay Conrad Levinson? I love his books! (Also love how small the world is, when you stop and look at it. What a hoot.)

As to marketing, don't be shy about sending out review copies to people you don't know. Maybe Julia Child has a secret hankering to be a culinary rebel. What about people famous for something else who cook as a hobby? (None come to mind, mainly because I'm trying to remember a few.)

How about starting a thread here asking for marketing/promotion ideas? Brainstorming is a highly respected form of idea generation and it would certainly be off-topic from distance learning. {g}

Sharing in the prize is a great way to start off the new year. Thanks to you and your publisher for including us in this.

 

How about Right Reverend Dr. Goldblatt, Ph.D.? 15-20 degrees, designed the costumes for half the broadway plays, has a church named after him, I could go on....

 

Two suggestions: Dick Bolles and Martin Yan both well known, both write for Ten Speed.

PS. You never did answer the quiz on Dick Bolles & Audy Murphy!?

 

Mike A: Two suggestions: Dick Bolles and Martin Yan both well known, both write for Ten Speed.

John: Ah, but this book is being published by Snow Lion, not Ten Speed.

Mike A: PS. You never did answer the quiz on Dick Bolles & Audy Murphy!?

John: Several people flirted with the relevant area. The two investigative reporters told me that Donald Bolles, Dick's brother and their star investigative reporter, was killed because of something he had learned -- a scheme which involved Audie Murphy -- and that Audie Murphy was killed (they said) because he was threatening to go public with the scheme.
The other key players (they said) were Richard Nixon, Barry Goldwater, and Jimmy Hoffa.

It is a matter of record that Richard Nixon unexpectedly, improbably, and controversially freed Jimmy Hoffa from prison in 1971, and that Goldwater defended the action. The big question, to which Bolles believed he had an answer, was "Why?"

It was later documented that the Teamsters had made some illegal donations to CREEP (the Committee to Re-Elect the President), but not, Bolles though, enough to warrant such a major and controversial action by the president.

Murphy was (they said) the courier regularly used to move very large sums of money from one place to another. Then he had (they said) an attack of conscience and wanted out. Then his plane mysteriously crashed.