Woman Claims She Was Sexually Assaulted By Toy At Hibachi Restaurant

What the hell:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/woman-claims-she-sexually-assaulted-191500102.html

Ah, ok! The title made it sound like she was sexually assaulted by a sex toy or something. Geez! Some of these articles.

 

It sounds an awful lot like neither this woman nor her husband have a clue as to what constitutes a "sexually oriented toy" and, perhaps, if they became more intimately familiar with the concept they would be a little less uptight.

 

OH MY - WTH!?!! This woman can't be serious?? Yahoo had to do a copy/paste from The Onion right?? She needs a ticket for wasting the time of law enforcement.

"It peed on me, basically. Out of his… wee-wee area"

Maybe she has diminished capacity?

 

Quite possibly.

But I doubt it is the clinical kind that gets you social security checks and more likely the more dangerous kind that results in frivolous police calls and Middle Eastern conflicts.

 

Well, you gotta admit, this is kind of tragically funny!

"It peed on me, basically. Out of his… wee-wee area,” Isabelle Lassiter told WTVF.

"Lassiter reportedly told police said she felt sexually assaulted because the toy had a penis. However, in the police statement, the officer refuted that claim."

"I observed the toy to have no penis and just a hole for the water to shoot out," the officer wrote."

Can you imagine being the cop writing up said report? He he!

 

I have two small kids and my wife and I have been sure to teach them the correct names for their private parts. The other day we were at the store and my son yelled something like "My penis is itchy!" This old woman turned and looked appalled. She just said "Language!" and walked away.

I'm not sure if this thinking that the proper term for genitalia is a curse word is a generational thing or some other demographic subset. But it's annoying as hell.

"wee-wee area"

This is one situation where I would fully support the police officer if he decided to beat the hell out of these two people.

 

The social affront in this case is talking about private/intimate things loudly in public...which small children have always been famous for doing. No one should be surprised or annoyed. That woman (and the woman in the story for that matter) are just ridiculous. I don't think it's generational at all.

 

She's right. Use more words - I stink at being concise. He could have yelled something like "My penis has an undesirable tingling and scratchy feeling that I really must address."

But, I don't usually have such cleverness on the spot.:lmao:

Once when my oldest was probably 3 years old, we went to see a movie. We were sitting in the theater waiting for it to start- but the lights were still on and the previews hadn't started, so it was pretty quiet and awkward. Anyway, he tells me in his way too loud version of an indoor voice that his "penis is wrecked." I leaned in as if to say "what?" and got the repeat in full voice "MY PENIS IS WRECKED MOM!"

My reply - "shhh, that's ok, the movie will start soon." :laughing:

(insert your own clever comment about males being impressed by their <cough> even from a young age)