The Joke Shop - Time to Lighten Up!

It was graduation time. The engineering majors came forth to pick up their diplomas, shouting, "We've got jobs! We've got jobs!" Then the business majors came forth to pick up their diplomas, shouting, "Working for us! Working for us!" Finally the liberal arts majors came forth to pick up their diplomas, shouting, "Fries with that? Fries with that?"

 

HA!! :arms: :laugh2:

 

Well, I guess it's good that someone thinks I'm funny.

 

Absolutely!

 

Four years ago, when this topic arose, I posted the joke for which the punch line is
"No, I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."
which people thought was funny.

Hey, maybe we can save band width by just posting the punch lines.

Hey, Joe, warm up the cat.

But you should have seen the look on the face of the monkey trying to get the cork back in!

Because New Jersey got first pick.

No! But I'm screwing up your canoe something terrible.

You go talk to the driver; I'll hold your monkey.

So tell me, how do you start a flood?

No, no, nurse, I said to prick his boil.

So the duck says 'Got any grapes?'

 

naa...I need the joke first, then the punchline.
Ok...go ahead...call me conservative...or stuck-in-the-mud...

 

Ha!!!!!!!!!!! Ay TH, you bust me up!

Abner

 

??????????

 

The Pope goes to New York. He is picked up at the airport by a limousine. He looks at the beautiful car and says to the driver, "You know, I hardly ever get to drive. Would you please let me?" The driver is understandably hesitant and says, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm supposed to do that." But the Pope persists, "Please?" The driver finally lets up, "Oh, alright, I can't really say no to the Pope." So the Pope takes the wheel, and boy, is he a speed demon! He hits the gas and goes around 100mph in a 45 zone. A policeman notices and pulls him over. The cop walks up and asks the Pope to wind the window down. Startled and surprised, the young officer asks the Pope to wait a minute. He goes back to his patrol car and radios the chief. Cop: Chief, I have a problem. Chief: What sort of problem? Cop: Well, you see, I pulled over this guy for driving way over the speed limit, but it's someone really important. Chief: Important like the mayor? Cop: No, no, much more important than that. Chief: Important like the governor? Cop: Way more important than that. Chief: Like the president? Cop: Much more important. Chief: "Who's more important than the president?" Cop: "I don't know but he has the Pope DRIVING for him!"

 

Okay, your stuck in the mud.