Even more income than the Romanians!

Let's build a small numerical model for Saint Regis based on its home-page assertion:

Based on numerous reports in the press, Saint Regis does not tend to turn away potential clients. Let us assume, then, that SRU provides 150,000 degrees each year. The SRU graduation fees vary with the kind of degree provided; a bachelors degree is $895. Note that there might be other charges, but it would seem that a "PLA" credit bachelors degree only costs $895.

If we make the rough approximation that $895 is the average cost of the degrees acquired from SRU (not true for those Georgia teachers, who mostly got PhDs) then we have total cash receipts of

150,000 x $895 = $134,250,000

which is probably more than the University Degree Program's annual take.

The State of Washington does not have "a corporate, unitary, or personal income tax."

The US personal income tax rate in the highest bracket is 35% so that would be a liability of roughly $47,000,000, not counting the various deductions that would apply, if the income were to be declared that way.

Now for the staffing question: what does it take to send out 150,000 diplomas per year? The standard 40 hour week, done 50 weeks per year amounts to 2,000 hours per year that an office is open. That's one diploma every 48 seconds going into an envelope, with 600 per day heading out the door to the post office. The pile of envelopes, assuming the Deluxe Graduation Package is a half-inch thick, is 25 feet high.

That's a lot for one office worker to handle, so there must be at least a couple of people working at it.

Of course, if that original 150,000 applicants per year number is incorrect, then all bets are off. Also, the neurosurgical expense of swapping faculty heads periodically adds further to the complexity of the model.

Now let's talk about how hard the (apparently unpaid) faculty might be required to work. The SRU faculty roster includes 46 different people, ignoring the possiblity of building new profs by swapping body parts. (Borrow a leg here, an arm there...) With the annual flux of 150,000 students, that corresponds to about 3,200 students per prof per year. That's not a very good student/faculty ratio!

It's also hazardous being an SRU prof, besides the obvious risk of decapitation. There are the dangers of an embarrassing ambush by reporters, as well as the chance to become one of the "disappeared." (For example, consider Ishaq Shafiq, who was jumped at the Chrysler plant along with the still-on-the-job Bob Stefaniak. Shafiq continues to say that he "serves as Vice Chancellor of Corporate Academic Services Worldwide for St. Regis University," probably to the irritation of the SRU operators.)

G

 

It's interesting that SRU categorizes faculty by discipline. For philosophy, they have Professor David L. Wiles. Wiles does indeed have an M.Phil. But it's in earth or environmental sciences -- as is his experience. They seem to have become confused by the fact that an M.Phil. degree does not mean the recipient's field is philosophy!