For any former educators, or anyone who left behind an entire career

Hey, everyone!

I hope you will forgive me for starting this post. I’ve been going through a really rough time, possibly the most difficult in my life. It feels good to know there are people out there that have gone through the same thing. I’d love to hear your words of wisdom.

In September 2024, I had such high hopes for my teaching career. It was my third year at my high school, and I had to put my game face on for the following year: my tenure year. My supervisor gave me six classes, all with a different curriculum, because she didn’t want to hire a sub. She said it would be temporary, but it wasn’t. She promised to be flexible with me and my lesson plans. She said she would never observe me in that extra class. All those promises were broken. And that was just the beginning. Regardless, I put my game face on and gave up my Drew University Doctor of Letters program so that I could focus on my job.

I had such difficult students, ones that made me fear for my safety at times. I loved them and eventually won them over, but when I sought support from my administrators, they ignored me. I was the problem. I wasn’t trying hard enough to mitigate the concerns in my classroom. Also, my supervisor ripped my lesson plans apart, told me I was not doing my job, and failed all my observations. She said I needed classroom management seminars and lessons on how to deliver instruction. She also told me that I should know my limitations and never volunteer to teach six classes.

Since September, every single night I spent in tears. I had panic attacks around 8:00 PM, knowing that I had to wake up early and go to that school in the morning. I would have terrible Sunday Scaries and anxiety attacks during my morning commute. I remember spending my entire Christmas break crying in my sister’s lap as my nieces and nephew opened their gifts. People in the hallway told me I wasn’t smiling anymore. My attendance suffered and I collapsed. It was time to do something about it.

I walked away from that school on May 2nd. When I packed up my classroom and drove away, an elephant lifted from off my chest. Since then, I’ve been feeling a roller coaster of emotions. I’m relieved, but angry. I’m so devastated, but somewhat hopeful. I’m in pain, but I am happy when I’m reading my books. I cry, but then I smile and say that I made it out alive.

I think I’ve been hurting a bit more because I have been fervently seeking an answer to what I will do as my next career. It’s been 9 years, and I’m ready to close the chapter on teaching high school. I promise, it’s not because of that toxic school that broke me. I’ve been wanting to leave for a long time. I just didn’t think I could do anything else.

I remember graduating from NYU in 2014 and thinking I wanted a PhD. In some ways, I did, but academia was never for me. NYU was also a toxic environment. So, I became a teacher. I was happy for a long time and don’t have any regrets. But I’m ready to do something else that makes me even happier.

My family and I agreed that perhaps I need to spend the next few months healing. In February, I was diagnosed with a severe mental health disorder. I want to spend some time working on myself and my heart. But I may need accommodations at my next job.

I’m sorry for this long post. I guess I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone else has gone through a difficult career transition like this. Your advice means a lot to me.

I am so happy I found you all. This is the best forum that has helped me so much to figure out where I belong and what my next steps should be. You are all so smart and wise. Thank you so much for reading and listening. You all have my deepest gratitude. Sending you lots of love from the windy Jersey Shore.

 

Twice. Once badly and once smoothly.

The bad: I enlisted in the Air Force at 18. Everything in my career went my way. I got a great job as an education specialist. I made rank fast. I applied to be an officer and got it. I wanted to become and education officer and got it. Teaching AFROTC? They picked two people that year from my career field. Teaching at San Diego State? Yep. I wanted a command position in Korea and got it, then got a follow-on to Las Vegas. Yep, everything was going just fine.

Until it ended. Abruptly.

After Desert Storm, careers began to dry up. While I was in Korea the Air Force held an officer RIF (reduction in force). Officers who had not yet been augmented into the Regular Air Force (like I had) were subject to it. Some got discharged right in the middle of their remote overseas tours--instant civilians. But having dodged that one (by law you can't RIF a Regular officer), my time was soon up. I got a phone call one evening from my group commander, letting me know I wouldn't be promoted. By law, if an officer is not promoted, he/she has to get out. I was 36 and being in the military was all I knew. This was before 9/11 and all that "thank you for your service" jazz, so finding a new career was a horrifying experience. You'd think a "retired" captain at that age with an MBA would be snapped up, but it was nothing of the sort. And even though I had some time from when I heard to when I retired, I just didn't do anything with it. I had no mentoring, no coaching (things I do for others now). I was on my own. It was a slog of several years to get my feet under me. But I did and my career flourished.

Part II:

I had been a senior consultant and an independent consultant, doing work for the CIA, NASA, and DHS. Ultimately, DHS recruited me and I went to work as a GS-15. But after 13 years, I grew bored with running the bureacracy, so I started designing a consulting practice. This was right in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic! I spent about a year designing my practice (establishing my niche, creating a website, marketing plans, etc.) I paid a business coach handsomely to work with me on it for two years, tduring he second of which I ran the practice as a side gig. When it became clear that it was thriving, I retired from civil service to do the consulting work full-time, and I've been at it ever since. ("Full-time" is a misnomer since I really don't work that hard.)

The lesson: if you have time and can afford it, plan ahead. Write those plans in pencil, of course, but do the work. And you don't have to bet the house on it. Try safe-to-fail experiements where, if they don't work out, you haven't given up what you have. Build a "board of directors," people who can advise and help you along the way. Whatever you do, keep moving. Read Adam Grant's Originals. Take StrengthsFinder. Take the Strong Interest Inventory. Consider archetypes and how you might fit them. Talk to people. And by all means, tell everyone that you're making the transition. Don't keep it a secret. You never know where the help you need will come from.

 

I'm so glad to hear that you've made it out of the toxic environment. The scars of that will be with you for a while, but like physical ones they will heal. I've left Social Work for nonprofit consulting, and nonprofit consulting for Salesforce Administration and more general IT work. Each time has been out of a fire into a calmer environment and it takes a while for the Sunday Scaries to go away, not flinch when a boss wants to talk to me, etc.

One exercise that might be helpful is to ask yourself what it was about teaching that you liked - truly liked? And figure out if that exists in another profession.

For some it might be the mentorship of molding young minds and helping them grow. Others might legitimately enjoy helping people learn new things. Some might enjoy the summers "off" (I know teachers are plenty busy in the summers.)

By better understanding what led you into teaching, you'll be more prepared to find a new home. For example, helping young people can be found in criminology, probation/parole, school psychology, youth nonprofit work, or even daycare/early childhood education. On the other hand, someone who enjoys teaching people things could look for work in curriculum design, instructional technology or similar. Lesson planning and organization lends itself well to project management. Someone who wants lots of time off might look for work on a cruise ship or shift work (like nursing or forestry) where you can do x amount on and x amount off. Some of these professions require additional qualifications but many don't.

The right career is out there for you. We'll be here to help (and cheer!) you on however we can!

 

You are the best! Thank you so much, my dear friend. I’m going to spend the next few months researching and chatting with colleagues. I will find my passion someday.

 

Yay! Thank you so much, friend! You are too kind! I definitely will think about my career and what called me to it. I truly did love working with kids and sharing my love of books with them. I’ll keep you posted on what I find!