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The OP's account has been removed, but for entertainment purposes, I will leave the thread here to preserve your delightful comments
Less than no sex? I thought that was impossible. When my math teacher taught us about negative numbers, he didn't mention this! "We're having serious problems, Doctor. Our sex life is down to minus 2 times a week...."
"My wife and I make love just once a month these days. But it's okay. I know two guys she cut off completely!"-- Rodney Dangerfield "In my house we smoke only after sex. I've been on the same pack for 3 years now. But my wife is up to two packs a day!" -- Rodney Dangerfield "I like my steak like I make love: very rare." -- Rodney Dangerfield "I know I'm a bad lover. The other day I caught a peeping Tom booing me!" -- Rodney Dangerfield "My wife put a mirror in over our bed. She said she likes to see herself laugh." -- Rodney Dangerfield "I asked my doctor if my heart was strong enough for sex. He said sure, as long as I don't join in!" -- Rodney Dangerfield And so it goes. Or, at least, it used to. RIP, Jacob Cohen, aka Jack Roy.