Degree Mill: BUBBLE GUM UNIVERSITY

Hello all,

I've decided to drop this whole "get a real degree" thing, and start my own diploma mill.

BUBBLE GUM UNIVERSITY:
My school offers a Ph.D. in [Bubble Gum Making] for 56 semester credits, plus a 100 page thesis and a required 6-month intership at the school. Each credit will cost $250.00, and I will accept 1 credit in transfer...with a $100.00 processing fee. Courses and candy making kits will be nonexistent, so we'll just pretend you did the work. Send the money, get the diploma.

You can also get a certificate in Taffy-Pudding Distribution during your "fourth year of studies" - which again, does not actually take place (for about $500.00). The school will be located in candyland, just down the street from Willy Wonka's factory on chocolate ave.

Interested parties, should send $1000 (to help pay for the school's diploma mill press ink), plus an application fee of say...$150.00 .

Accredidation is through the newly created (through my own hard effort) "International Budget Committee For Self-Employed Educators and Investment Bankers".

Details to follow....

- S.

P.S.: LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I was simply making a point. There is no such school by my creation, nor any accredidation through my making.

 

Good effort, Rev. Shawn, but I would have to say that the "satire bar" has been raised mighty high by the recent shenanigans of Sir Quinn Tyler of Jackson. Tough act to follow.

Peace,

Matt

 

Re: reply

I guess to show that even I could create a phony school from nothing...and how unrational and stupid the whole idea would be. That was the point. I've been reading many posts on this site dealing with diploma mills, and just decided to jump on the band wagon - if only for a moment. It was not meant to be a waste of time, but to illustrate a point through humor. Because that is exactly what these mills are...a big, huge, joke. To coin a phrase, its "Reverse Psychology".

- S.

 

I think it would have more panache if you made it a 'foreign' institution:

Universidad del Chicle de Globo
Kaugummiuniversität
Università di Gomma da Masticare

 

LOL...Thanks Dr. B.

- Shawn

 

Darn, I was about to sign up.

 

Don't tease me - my Doctoral dissertation was going to be on "Bubbliscious vs. HubbaBubba chewers - which are inherently more successful"?

The research would be based on a week of observation recording the amount of gum I scraped off of my shoes, and the relative prosperity of the cretins that spit it out to begin with

 

Now, that is a student hard at work on discovering the true meaning of academia. Find a need and fill it, is what I always say.

.......Ewww, I just realized how unappealing your research would have been for that topic. I can never look at gum the same way again....

- Shawn

 

Oh GREAT!
Now what am I supposed to do with my 100 page dissertation on The Hermeneutics of Bazooka Joe?

Jack

 

Re: Re: Degree Mill: BUBBLE GUM UNIVERSITY

You wrote a dissertation?

I was going to get my degree based on life experience.

 

My big brother got the gum. I got the comics.
That is my life experience.

Jack
(BTW, what is wrong with that Ursula?)

 

You guys are great...I was hoping it would be taken as fun.

I am just laughing at this stuff.

- Shawn

 

That explains the need for a dissertation.

Your brother got the gum, thus he got the life experience.

 

Jack, your glass was still half full. Comics don't promote cavities.

PhiloScolar, cute parody. Hope no one's bubble is burst once they realize your new university is only the flavor-of-the-moment mill. That could get sticky.

Kit