How big is the rock for engagement?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by TEKMAN, May 16, 2011.

Loading...
  1. TEKMAN

    TEKMAN Semper Fi!

    Hi Everyone,

    I would like to request everyone's opinion on how much is a good for a decent engagement ring? I heard people said about 3 months of salary. I asked a friend of mine, he said he spent $13,000.00 on it.:present:

    I just don't want to be broke, and don't want the girlfriend think I am cheap.

    Thanks.
     
  2. AUTiger00

    AUTiger00 New Member

    Three months salary is the general rule. I've seen nice rings that cost $7k, I've seen hidious rings that costs $20k plus. Just find out what kind of cut and band she likes, I feel like that's the biggest hurdle.
     
  3. Randell1234

    Randell1234 Moderator

    I heard of the “three month rule” but I really think it is based on your salary and where you are in life. If you are just getting by on $25K a year, does it make sense to spend $6K? If you make $100K, would you spend $25K on a ring? You could also greatly impact size when picking a VVS or VS an SI.
     
  4. StefanM

    StefanM New Member

    The three month rule is just a marketing ploy from jewelers. Don't get hung up on the number. Get what you can afford and what you think she will like.

    If a girl is going to insist that you spend three months salary on her ring...RUN, don't walk, away. Either that or get an ironclad prenuptial agreement, my friend....
     
  5. Randell1234

    Randell1234 Moderator

    I could not agree more!
     
  6. b4cz28

    b4cz28 Active Member

    I was broke when I asked my wife. I went to a pawn shop and got a $2,000-$2,500 ring for less than $500. It looks killer and was perfect and like new. By used and save a ton.
     
  7. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    Not that anyone asked the party pooper, but when has that ever stopped me? :raincloud::tragedy::raincloud:

    I wouldn't marry someone who expected three months of my salary for a silly ring. Do ya wanna get married to me or do you want fancy shiny expensive things? Sorry, but those two options ARE mutually exclusive.

    Then, there is the wedding. People spending tens of thousands on a wedding? Sheesh. In ancient Israel marriage was official when you moved her stuff to your house. They didn't even hire a dj!

    This past weekend, a couple of my friends got married. They went to a justice of the peace, then had the reception in the backyard of another one of our friends (it actually was a very beautiful, but simple reception). The cost for the whole ordeal was just a few hundred dollars. They were just happy to be married, the way it should be.
     
  8. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    I'm glad you went there first, I had something to say but deleted it because I felt I was being too forward. Anyway, what I was going to say, and now will, was...

    If being modest in your purchase of a ring makes her think that you are being cheap, then she is not fit for marriage.

    I'm sure that's not the case for you, however. I wish the best for you. Now you have to let us know if she says YES :smile:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 16, 2011
  9. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator

    If you're cheap she already knows it. If you're not then she knows that too. If it was me I'd say save the money and use it to buy me a house.
     
  10. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    ...but where would your husband stay? :jester:
     
  11. nanoose

    nanoose New Member

    An old German tradition is that on the engagement wedding bands are exchanged and placed on the ring finger of the right hand. At the wedding, they are moved to the left. I've always kinda liked that...

    Forget the 3 month thing.

    I'm pretty practical by nature; the story above appeals to me.
    For our engagement, he was broke; we went into the store with his last paycheque.
    Mind you, on our 10th anniversary he surprised me with a 1+ carat beaut!
    Both simply reflect where we were in our lives...and both are irreplaceable....
    Him taking on debt to buy me a ring, and beginning marriage in debt, would have not made me happy...at all.
     
  12. Randell1234

    Randell1234 Moderator

    When my wife and I got married we paid $300 for a three ring set at the mall! We were married by a justice of the peace (2,000 miles from our home towns without family). A year later we had a more traditional ceramony (with family in my home town) but the reception was a matter of a big party. We supplied the beer and everyone cooked their "specialty meals" and brought them. It was a blast. Same rings were used and the total cost was about $1,500 for the space, DJ, and dress. We paid cash and refused to start a life with debt.

    Now, I did upgrade her ring a few times as finances permitted. How she is happy with her simple 2 carat ring that we got a few years ago. After 20 years of putting up with me she deserves more!
     
  13. AUTiger00

    AUTiger00 New Member

    If you have the money to spare spend the 3 months salary,if not then don't go in to debt for a ring. Maybe I'm out of touch here but people keep talking about going into debt for the ceremony/reception. Typically the woman's family pays for that, I can't think of any of the weddings I've attended where that wasn't the case. The last two were the weddings of my fiance's brothers. In both instances the brides parents paid for the ceremony and reception. The boys paid for the honeymoon. Is that not the norm?
    I actually got engaged last week on a trip to Ireland and I spent close to three months salary for the ring. I suppose that would be different if her and I were paying for the ceremony. The cost of wedding dresses alone is frightening and I'm glad that isn't a bill my fiancé and I will have to pay.
    In any case, spend what you can afford. If she isn't happy with that then she clearly isn't the right girl for you. If you're planning to ask then congratulations.
     
  14. Randell1234

    Randell1234 Moderator

    In my case, my wife and I were already married by the justice of the peace in Colorado where we met and we were both drop the East Coast so her parents were like, "Well, you are already married so anything you do will be out of your pocket"
     
  15. SteveFoerster

    SteveFoerster Resident Gadfly Staff Member

    I'm with those who say the three month thing is a scam from the jewelry industry, specifically it was designed by DeBeers so they'd sell more diamonds. Have you talked to your prospective fiancee about her expectations on this?

    -=Steve=-
     
  16. Mary A

    Mary A Member

    Besides all the good advice here, don't forget Costco. Not the most romantic jewelry store but amazing diamonds and great prices that won't put you in debt for the first ten years of your married life together.
     
  17. dlcurious

    dlcurious Member

    Something else you could do is to buy a used ring with a great stone and then purchase a new band for it. I did this on a ring the first time I was engaged and the girl loved it, was none the wiser.
     
  18. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    Maybe, or maybe it's me who is out of touch :veryhappy: My history with "family" is that they take money from you, not give it to you. The idea that family, or really anyone, would give me any kind of handout is something that is very, very foreign to my experiences. Maybe that's just me...?? :saevil:

    Besides, I'd rather not have any one else go into debt to pay for my wedding- that is, unless her family views it as a grand tradition that they must follow. I'm all about having the traditional ceremony and all- the first dance as a married couple and the smashing of the cake and everything- but I'd rather invest in the marriage more than in the wedding and/or ring.
     
  19. cookderosa

    cookderosa Resident Chef

    Time for a girl to post. If you don't have any money, 3 month's salary looks irresponsible and impulsive. If you have to go into debt, that's too much. Save the money- buy something nice.

    My ring was custom designed and is freaking beautiful, it only cost $3500.
     
  20. TEKMAN

    TEKMAN Semper Fi!

    Thanks all great responses...I have no experience, but I think 3 months of salary are ridiculous.

    She just expects one, but did not specify how much she wants. She does not know how much I make neither. I think I just spend about $2,000.00 because it seems I have to buy her a new car once we are married.
     

Share This Page