These were sent to me - yes by email - and are worth sharing: 1.) Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a state >trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks to himself, "This >driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So, he turns on his lights and pulls >the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly >ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as >ghosts. > >The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I >was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?" > >The trooper trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 22 was the >route number, not the speed limit. > >A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing >out her error. > >But before you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These >women seem awfully shaken. > >Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 127. 2.) An older lady was somewhat lonely, and decided that she needed a pet to keep her >company. So off to the pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. > >Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog. As she walked by the barrel he was in, he looked up and winked at her, then whispered, "I'm lonely too, buy me and you won't be sorry." > >The old lady figured what the heck as she hadn't found anything else. So she bought the frog and went to her car. Driving down the road, the frog whispered to her, "Kiss me, you won't be sorry." > >The old lady figured what the heck and kissed the frog. Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous, sexy, handsome, young prince. Then the prince kissed her back, and guess what the old lady turned into? > >Come on, guess......... > > > >The first motel she could find. She's old, not dead! 3.)Two Cowboys from Texas walk into a roadhouse to wash the trail > > > > dust from their throats. They stand at the bar, talking quietly about > > > > beef > > > > prices. > > > > > > > > Suddenly a woman at a table behind them, who has been eating a > > > > sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so it becomes apparent > > > > that she is in real distress, and the cowboys turn to look at her. > > > > > > > > "Kin ya swaller?" asks one of the cowboys. > > > > > > > > "No", signals the woman, desperately shaking her head. > > > > > > > > "Kin ya breathe?" asks the other. The woman, beginning to turn a > > > > bit blue, shakes her head "No" again. > > > > > > > > The first cowboy walks over to her, lifts her skirt and slowly > > > > runs his tongue up and down her left butt cheek. This shocks the woman > > > > to a > > > > violent spasm, the obstruction flies out of her mouth and she begins > > > > to breathe again. > > > > > > > > The cowboy walks back to the bar and proudly takes a > > > > sip of his beer. > > > > > > > > His partner says in admiration.... "Ya know, I'd heard of that > > > > there Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seed nobody do it." > > > >
