Either tomorrow or Saturday my younger son leaves with several hundred others of the national guard from Oregon to go to ,we think, the area of the likely soon to be conflict with Iraq. He is told he may be there six months to a year. He is a combat soldier with several MOSs including explosives. He brought home the other night some impressive newly issued gear: Gas mask, bullet proof vest and so forth. He will carry even on the plane the new m4 rifle. So it looks like they are preparing him in the event of action. In a way I'm glad and relieved he's off. He interferes with my studies . He has lived with me for over a year now without paying any board and room but creating havoc instead. He constantly borrows money. I lost $500 getting him out of jail. He wrecked my truck! Frequently we've gotten into violent arguments even occasioning several times the arrival of police when he in rages would cuss his mother or me out then refuse to leave my property. You will say that I enable him. Yes, it's true! But, I've come to understand why trials work patience and I've come to much value divine grace and enablement and forgiveness with me since I have to give these so often and so much to Dan. But now, he's going! So, why am I a little tearsy? Why do I already begin to miss him? Is that just how a father is?
In my opinion, that's how the good fathers are. My heartfelt wishes to your family for the safe return of your son.
Hey Bill, Speaking from the "son" point of view, I think it makes you a good father I am a vet who served four years in the Army and was stationed in Germany in the latter half of the eighties. Both then and when I went off to college I was a pest who got a lot of grace and mercy from my folks. When it was about time to go, the love and kindness made me feel like a long lost prodigal comming home. It was healing and I think it helped our family to stick together and not drift apart. God bless you and your son
Bill, I was touched by your post when I read it. I have a 3 year old son and dread the thought of him acting the same way I acted when I was younger towards my parents. I look back and can't understand WHY I did half the things I did... Best Regards, Bill
=== Thanks Bill. I was a hellraiser too. Just do not know why I caused my Mom and dear grandmother (Nana) who raised me such problems. Sure wish I could say "I'm sorry" again to them! There was a dumb movie once called "love story" which had the line, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Boy do I disagree with that! My wife and I just got back from the Salem Armory auditorium where some generals and politicians gave speeches to Salem's 400+ soldiers who are leaving and to their families. My wife couldn't stop crying even though Danny has given us some hard times of late.
Perhaps this manifestation of both paternal & maternal love/caring/concern, even in the presence of conflict, is a beautiful illustration of how the heavenly Father reacts toward His children. The latter is magnified, of course, exponentially.
Bill, Everybody else already said it better than I could, but I share their sentiments and their prayers.
Bill, Thank your son for us. And thank you, your wife and all of the fathers, mothers, sons and daughters of Salem (and everywhere else) who will be separated by this deployment.
=== Thanks Unk. What is interesting about an event like this is that it can affect various individuals in so many ways. Danny for two weeks has shown much bravado. But my wife said today he confessed to her his fears. I am hoping the time away from us will make him independent from us in terms of a place to live and will mature him. As for me, as funny as it seems, though he drives me nuts, I miss him a lot. But I can get more done on my studies now.
=== Thanks Charles. There were a lot of brave young men who stood listening to the speeches there today. Lots of hugs and hopes. Danny has been gone before with the Guard to fight our summer forest fires and two stretches in Germany too. But the idea of him being gassed or shot at makes me wish I could strap on my .45 colt, throw my hunting rifle over my shoulder and be there with him. But since I should wear hearing aids, do wear trifocals, and run out of breath quickly, I'd not be any help.
Dear Bill - Maybe that sort of spirit will help him during this next year. My thanks go out to your son for having the courage to actively defend our country. If you're willing to provide the address, I'd be happy to write to him and say that personally. My guess is that when he returns to you he'll be a different man. My hope is that this difference brings you closer together. Jack
== Thankyou Jack Danny gave me an email address, but I'd better try that first and see if it works. We know he's going to Colorado for some sort of training for two weeks before they leave the country. They were told that normally this schooling is longer. But there is, it is said, an urgency for them to get to their more permanent location in a hurry. Danny certainly would be flattered to have you write. Danny has two great uncles in San Diego on my side of the family who were in WW 2. So he's heard war stories. Uncle Bill flew a bomber and Uncle Bob was on a minesweeper. Danny's step grandfather was at Pearl on Dec 7th and his ship was struck and sunk killing hundreds of sailors. Casey escaped by diving into a bay on fire with burning oil. As the zeros tried to gun him down in the water he swam toward shore and was picked up by a boat . But he was done in later in the 80s by a cancer in his belly the size of a soccer ball which grew back in just months after its removal. I hope you are right that Danny will return ready to turn his life around. It's so sad to see our children aimless and without direction. Thanks for your wishes. It's really great to have the good wishes of friends here.
Hi Bill I wanted to add to my last reply to further encourage you. I was just like your son, probably a lot worse. I was the black sheep of the family. They tried to raise me right, both to be God fearing and responsible as well. I was hateful and rebellious. I turned to alchohol, drugs and being a "riotous animal." Nevertheless, God's word, which had been sown into my life, as well as the life lessons in general, weren't wasted. It just took me a long time God's word never comes back void. When I was at the end of myself, He was there to save me and restore me. I now enjoy an awesome relationship with my parents, as well as an intense love of God. I'm now a husband and find myself continually using the lessons my parents taught me growing up...... I am now a responsible man I actually thanked them for all they've done and for putting up with me. My mom told me that all they ever wanted and prayed for was for me to grow up and be a respectable and God fearing man...... It seems God heard their prayers. I will pray for you and your son. God bless you!!!
Bill, Jesus reminded us that "greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends". Now what does that tell us about Dan, who is willing to make this ultimate sacrifice for us who are total strangers? For me, it brings to mind the emulation of the one who was willing to be sacrificed to bring to pass the salvation of all. God bless Dan and others like him who is truly "puttin his money where his mouth is" so that we may continue to enjoy the freedoms fought for by those of previous generations. God bless you for raising him to be like that. Your situation brings to mind Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it". It does not mention what happens when this child becomes an adolescent or when he beomes a young adult. I, too, have seen many "hellraisers" go on to be great later in life. It sounds that Dan will be one of those. Prayers to you and Dan, Tony Piña
Thankyou Tony One of the first signs that I have seen that this being on the front of a likely war was effecting a change in my son was Danny's statement just before he left Saturday that he'd ordered a card for me to draw out of his account when his military pay starts to come in the several thousand dollars he owes me for wrecking my truck and other money borrowed. He should be coming back with enough to begin living elsewhere. Hopefully it won't be back to jail for not following through with the courts requisite for alcohol and anger management therapy. The court's requisite connects not to the relationship between Dan and I, but to his relationship with his ex girl friend. This person would not even allow him to see before departure his own 14 month old son. Dan leaves many problems behind and goes to another. Hopefully the latter, a likely war, will effect changes in him enabling him to deal with the former, his difficulties at home. Selfish of me to allow my tunnel vision to mostly see out of this how it affects me and mine. Sorry.
