Reverse discrimination

I will make a long story short. My wife has been working at her company for 14 years. She has always put her nose to grind stone, does not engage in gossip and has received many awards. Last year, she noticed a change. Her new boss is a minority and my wife is white. Her boss engages in favoritism (towards her race), and excludes my wife from things like outside training and important meetings. She is quick to offer new opportunities to fellow minorities so they can be promoted. My wife is not afforded these same opportunities, and is given the cold shoulder. I can go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

As a Job Steward, I have dealt with a couple of these cases. They are VERY hard to prove, if not impossible. The remedy is usually to remove the member and place them in another department, or move the supervisor to another department. But that is an union setting where there are many checks and balances. The non union at will environment is much different. I tell people to document, document, document, get witnesses and turn it over to the union for investigation where it will be investigated in a impartial manner. In my wife's company, people can turn over all the evidence they want, but HR usually lets the person with the complaint go, and the manager remains without incident.

I am venting more than anything. I know the answer will be that she should just simply get another job. However, what she does is highly specialized, and getting a new job in her field is slim pickins right now. Unemployment only lasts so long, and it doesn't pay anything any way.

 

I greatly dislike the term "reverse discrimination" when it is intended to mean that a minority is discriminating against a non-minority. Discrimination is discrimination. And, honestly, while I would like to paint it as a clear black and white (no pun intended) issue it gets very, very murky.

If an employer randomly hires a bunch of people who all happen to be the same race they are likely to be encouraged to increase diversity in the workplace. But the way you increase diversity is to factor race and gender into a conversation where you otherwise can't introduce it.

It's weird. It's uncomfortable. I cannot say "Well, there are three candidates, let's hire the man because, well, he's a man." But it isn't terribly uncommon to hear a hiring manager say "Well, they are all good candidates, but we want to promote diversity here so let's hire X."

Right? Wrong? It's a bigger issue than any one person and the hiring issue itself is often much more nuanced.

It's true, leaving that employer is an option. You know what else is? Not leaving. It doesn't sound like your wife is being harassed. It does sound like her boss is showing some favoritism toward others. The reason why it would be an uphill battle for her to sue is that her boss would only really need to say that the other employees showed more leadership skills or more initiative in seeking those outside opportunities.

But there is more to a career than promotion. If she works in a specialized field then maybe it would serve her well to either develop that specialization to the point where her value is even more unquestionable OR broadening her appeal so that working outside of that department or outside of that company becomes a more realistic option.

It's good not to take things like this personally. Perhaps your wife's boss feels that your wife, as a white woman, has plenty of opportunities on her own and she needs to help the others more. Perhaps what she's doing isn't even intentional. Maybe her boss is a raging racist. Any of these are possibilities. I'd recommend taking it as insensitivity rather than malice and trying to thoughtfully form a strategy to either live with the present situation or plan a well thought out exit. Never leave a job to spite yourself. Always try to exit in a way that is in your own (or, in this case, your wife's) best interest.

 

Unfortunately, it is impossible to eliminate all discrimination/prejudice. As long as there are differences, there will be discrimination/prejudice. It also happens among those of the same ethnicity, socio-economic group or even in extended families.

 

I am sorry to read your wife's tribulation.

It is unfortunate that discrimination happens, but as you noted, little can be done without large amount of documentation. Even if this is brought to light, the outcome will be of dubious emotional value.