So, I wanted to vent about something (as well as talk about something other than politics) and I thought it might make a fun starting point for a discussion. My wife recently hired a gentleman to do some part time work at her organization. She had some positive interactions with him as a volunteer, he said he wanted to work for her, so she gave it a go. He comes over to our house with his wife and we had a generally pleasant evening. There was laughing, there was conversation and everyone seemed to be having a good time. There were a few times where the guy seemed to react strangely to some pretty innocuous questions. No problem, everyone has boundaries, so I backed off and we all moved on. As we neared the end of the night (around the time people are migrating toward the door and putting on coats) she asked this guy if he was able to start his new job on Wednesday. The guy became visibly flustered but ultimately said he would. Today he sent the most passive aggressive "thank you" note I have ever seen. Aside from an opening line that seems to be insulting my children (who were incredibly well behaved, by the way) he went on to complain about the "interrogation" and complain that he didn't realize that this would be a "job interview." My wife called him to apologize if he felt like he was put on the spot (our conversations were largely focused on restaurants we've eaten in, where we went to school, places we've traveled etc). The guy was apparently seething with anger over a general feeling that she was somehow "setting him up." For the record, if you're searching for me on the internet and come across this post, perhaps if you don't act like a jerk-ass finding employment would be generally easier. Consider that a pro bono tip. Anyway! That was absolutely the weirdest and most negative dinner guest experience I have ever had. There really is no second place. So, what was the most unpleasant/awkward/disastrous dinner party you've ever attended/hosted?
I had a friend (now, an ex-friend) actually let me know that she had planned a gathering at my place, picked a date and time and already had a list of guests that she had invited. Yeah, let that one sink in before I get to the rest of this story. This ex-friend of mine was particularly officious and the reasons why I was so patient with her was because we had a lot of mutual friends and because I was convinced that her bad behavior was caused by some form of mental or emotional disorder and that she was completely unaware of how she came off (I was wrong, but I digress). As unhappy as I was with the predicament she put me in, I didn't have the heart to tell the guests, who were all among the aforementioned mutual friends, not to come nor to disappoint this apparently emotional disturbed "friend" of mine. So, this "friend" who had made these plans on my behalf, and for whom I cooked a meal I knew she liked and made a dessert I knew she liked, let me know that afternoon that she was going to be 3 hours late because she decided to accept extra work for that day. This meant that I'd end up having her (and other guests, so we'd not have to be there alone together) much later than I'd originally expected. At an event that I was not even originally expecting to have. That she planned for me, and decided to push aside for other endeavors. :zx11pissed: Anyway, when she finally arrived, she played nice for a bit, but then made regular attempts at steering the conversation toward my supposed personality flaws, which I tried to deflect to mixed success, eventually amounting to her flat-out making up a lie about me. When I tried to correct the lie, she didn't respond well and, in order to avoid an all-out shouting match, I just dropped the subject and stopped trying to defend myself. Such went the whole night. I had to get up early the next morning, which is why I never would have planned that gathering, myself, but was entertaining company until past midnight. Throughout the next day when I was absolutely exhausted and not in a very good mood, I couldn't help but to continue to reflect on the unfortunate previous evening and angrily brood over its unpleasantness and wonder if maybe, sometimes, I'm just a little too nice to people who don't deserve it.
Why not invite my wife and I over for a meal, guys? I can promise that we will use our manners, eat our vegetables, use napkins and will not ask for seconds on dessert. There will be no talk of employment, benefits, or promotion of unaccredited schools or degree mills. We're available on Thanksgiving Day at 2:00 PM.
You know, the funny thing is, I cannot imagine getting upset with a guest for asking for seconds on dessert. If there is pie left then there is pie available. If a person didn't finish something I would be more concerned that they didn't like it and I don't want them to suffer through the night hungry because they wanted to put on a brave face. Those are the kinds of things my grandmother used to get upset about and I just don't get it. Planning a party at your place without your knowledge/consent? Rude thank you notes? Those are things that deserve a slap. And, normally, RAM I'd be happy to invite you over. Unfortunately I stacked my guest list this year with extended family I have on a five year rotation. After this year, I will enjoy four thanksgivings of guilt-free peace.
When my mother's sister was 90, we put on a big fancy Thanksgiving dinner in the banquet room of her ritzy retirement community. The rabbi had just begun intoning the blessing when my aunt turned to the person next to her and said, in a 'stage whisper' that could be heard 3 blocks away, "I hope he doesn't take long; I gotta take a crap." Two years later, she departed this world following the most memorable "last words" imaginable. (Say, maybe that could be another topic here: memorable last words.)
A good friend (and pastor) of mine referred to that specifically as the "senior citizen stage whisper. Personally, I think when I'm old, I am just going to use my age as an excuse to yell stuff out while pretending to whisper. If my hearing is going to go I want to have a bit of fun with it. As for memorable last words, that is pretty epic. My uncle died during surgery some years ago and just before he was wheeled in he said "well, what's the worst that can happen?" Which wouldn't be at all funny except he also directed (in a will prepared some time before all of this) that his epitaph include the quote "Well, at least I have my health." Well, played , Uncle George, well played.
Uncle George, meet Aunt Helene That's reminiscent of the Civil War officer whose last words, during an attack, were, "Don't worry, men, they'll never be able to hit us at this dist . . . " Aunt Helene was really annoyed at being old and enfeebled, cared for by the Jamaican aides at her retirement home. On the fatal day, age 92, one of them came in to give her a sponge bath (which she hated). My wife was present. Aide: Roll over, please, dear. Helene: Go f**k yourself. Aide: Honey, I got a man at home who takes care of that. Now roll over. Helene: [dies] So those were truly her final words.
Well, since you included the five year rotation all this year, the little lady and I are open for Thanksgiving 2016...Say around 2:00 PM? :biggrin:
So this one year I was hosting thanksgiving dinner and I went with an "all friends" model. None of us felt like traveling home to see family so we all got together. I was responsible for hosting the event, providing turkey, stuffing, drinks and all of the "major" thanksgiving components. But I sources some of the important (but lesser) components to the attendees. So, Couple A was tasked with mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes. I don't care how I get my mashed potatoes. From scratch, instant, I don't care. Just give me mashed potatoes. Couple B was tasked with bringing green bean casserole. Couple C was tasked with bringing enough pie for eight pie holes (this was pre-kids). The big day, people start showing up. I have (if I do say so myself) a fantastic looking turkey all prepared. Couple B shows up first. Uh oh, the casserole didn't turn out. So, they brought cookies. Umm...OK, not exactly an "equivalent" dish, but I like cookies so, whatever. Couple B shows up with one pumpkin pie from Wegmans. I'll bet the cleanup was horrendous. But hey, a sliver of pie is better than no pie at all, right? Couple A shows up and very apologetically tells me that they didn't have time to make mashed potatoes (Grrrr!) but they brought four bottles of seltzer. Side note: We have a SodaStream Fortunately, I had this box of instant mashed potatoes hidden away in the back of our pantry for just such emergencies. I never make instant mashed potatoes. My wife hates them. But at least we had something on the table that resembled a side dish. Also fortunately, my wife picked up a pecan pie because she really likes pecan pie and wanted to make sure it was available. Still, three sets of sucky guests all in one night. Fortunately, they were all friends and they've been mostly forgiven. We still had a great night.
I "hold it together" pretty well during the year. All sorts of internal rage gets worked out via jogging, meditation and lots of reading. But depriving me of mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving.... I will cut people.
