The Empire Strikes Back

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Gus Sainz, May 22, 2002.

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  1. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    Because of the new plot developments in Episodes I and II of Star Wars, there's going to be an extra scene included in the new DVD release of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK coming later this year! Basically, it expands on the scene where Vader reveals his fatherhood to Luke, and ties up some loose ends created in Episode I...


    INT: BESPIN GANTRY - MOMENTS LATER:

    A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

    Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

    Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

    Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

    Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

    Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

    Luke: NO!

    Darth Vader: Yes, it is true... and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

    Luke: Threepio?

    Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...

    Luke: No...

    Darth Vader: Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself; no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

    Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

    Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

    Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

    Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith...waahhh wahhh!"

    Luke: Shut up...

    Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

    Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon...

    Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here, baby!

    (Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.}

    Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose kid you are, but you sure ain't mine...

    {Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.}

    {Darth Vader looks after him.}

    Darth Vader: Get a haircut!


    :D :D :D
     
  2. Rich Douglas

    Rich Douglas Well-Known Member

    LOL!

    Lucas had no idea--despite assertions to the contrary--that he would have this franchise on his hands. He wrote a movie with an ending (Star Wars), then was faced with a typical reaction to a surprising hit: make another one. So they mythology began. But even Lucas as acknowledged that his hands are pretty tied in the "prequels." The first was a story of a boy becoming a man and exacting his revenge. But in the quest of making "Episode I" interesting, "Ani" Skywalker is almost superhuman! You'd think with that lineage, Luke's aunt and uncle would've had him help a little more around the house. But Lucas didn't ever anticipate creating the prequels. Hence, the contradiction so entertainingly exposed by Gus.:)
     
  3. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    Moreover, let us not forget that according to the 2001 Census, Jedi Knights have gained official recognition as a religion in the UK. And like all religions, Jedi also has its detractors. For example, in New Zealand, citizens who declared themselves members of the Jedi religion were threatened with a hefty fine for declaring themselves “Jedi” on the census.

    Somehow, however, they managed to escape the fine scot-free… (I can envision what happened… ”You don’t want to collect a fine from me; you want to go home and reexamine your life…” ;) )
     
  4. Rich Douglas

    Rich Douglas Well-Known Member

    Yeah, try that with the IRS....talk about the dark side of the Force.
     
  5. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    Delightful column by Rob Morse in today's San Francisco Chronicle (www.sfgate.com). Excerpt:

    "We must free George Lucas from the evil inner child who uses all the forces of technology in the intergalactic conspiracy to infantilize our culture. Like his reverse-ordered movies--sequels, prequels and Nyquils--Lucas is regressing in time. "American Graffiti" and the original "Star Wars" were for the teenager in everyone. His two most recent Star Wars movies are for the toddler in every preteenager. He's calling a planet "Naboo" and a character "Count Dooku." Jar Jar Binks was so embarrassing that Lucas promoted him out of the action to senator, where he outdoes Trent Lott for ugly stuff on top of his head and stupid stuff coming out of his mouth.... In the next Star Wars movie, the Jedi knight Teletubby Kenobi will wear laser-deflector Huggies and fight the planetary alliance of Binky, Boo-Boo and Ba-Ba..."
     
  6. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    Not to mention the fact that Steven Spielberg, after making AI, decided that he needed to return to film school and finish his degree (as noted in another thread). :D
     
  7. Bill Highsmith

    Bill Highsmith New Member

    I just want to know where that babe senator got all her clothing while slogging around the galaxy with no luggage.
     

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