My daughter now tells me that I don't understand because her Facebook/Instagram/Twitter generation is different and has different values. "Daddy you just don't understand. The pictures are the most important thing to us. Any cheaper photographer will ruin everything for us." What do I say to that?
Here's a test for the Facebook generation: If she really believes after careful thought that any wedding photo package costing less than $4000 would "ruin everything for us," would she write that on her own Facebook wall visible to friends? I have a feeling she wouldn't. Speaking of putting things out to her friends, unless she's marrying in a distant location or everyone she knows is fabulously rich, I have to think she probably already knows someone who could recommend, likely from experience, a great photographer who does great work for a much more reasonable price. It might be something to put the word out more fully about.
Gee, thanks for that word of encouragement. I feel so much better. Actually, I have said no a great many times. I have just given her a budget of $1600 for a photographer. Like it or lump it.
Sorry for sounding like a jerk. I thought the lol would give you the idea that I was sorta poking fun. Btw, I have 6 kids from 7-20 with my younger two being girls. I haven't been through the girl marriages yet.
I also liked what Jonathan posted...suggesting she put that on Facebook for all her generation to see, and agree or disagree with. I just have never agreed with entitlement, no matter what the generation. It is nice if parents agree to help with a wedding but it is NOT nice when a child makes all the plans and decides that money is of no concern, since somebody else is stuck with the bill. My husband and I had six kids between us, five of them girls. One more or less eloped but we helped the rest of them with their weddings, including my son. His wife's family was not able to contribute much. My philosophy was to agree to contribute a certain amount, and give them a check for that amount early on in the planning stage, and then tactfully tell them I would offer physical labor, suggestions, ideas, and my time, but please don't ask for more money. This worked out very well and also encouraged them to remain within their own set budget. On another note related to photographers, my son's story is sad. His wife's uncle was going to donate his photography services as a gift to them. But he died a few months before the wedding. My husband worked with a woman who did photography including weddings as a side job. She did this for $500 and did a fantastic job, edited the photos professionally, etc. For $500, they got a CD of full resolution photos with full rights to print or copy as much as they wanted. She also made them a DVD slideshow at no extra cost. Sadly, this woman also passed away at around age 32, shortly after deliverying the finished photo package to my son and his wife.
News Flash This just got a lot more outrageous. I just found out that the guy that wants $4k to photograph the wedding is a close friend of our groom. I am appalled. If my close friend needed my services for his wedding, I would do it for little to no profit. Some friend.
Then your dilemma is solved. Love your daughter. Let the couple know they are welcome to add whatever they like to the $1600--from their own funds of course. Stand by your budget.
A fiend of mine hired a pro photographer for his wedding. Folowing the wedding the photographer was on her way home, got involved in a bad auto accident, and when she eventually recovered her car the cameras were gone. My friend collected the pictures taken by the guests and put together a nice album himself.
