Profiling

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Gus Sainz, Apr 22, 2002.

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  1. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    To ensure we Americans never offend anyone (particularly fanatics intent on killing us), airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 80-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors.

    Let's pause a moment and take the following test:

    In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
    (a) Olga Corbutt
    (b) Sitting Bull
    (c) Arnold Schwarzenegger
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
    (a) Lost Norwegians
    (b) Elvis
    (c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    During the 1980's, a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
    (a) John Dillinger
    (b) The King of Sweden
    (c) The Boy Scouts
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
    (a) A pizza delivery boy
    (b) Pee Wee Herman
    (c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

    In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70-year-old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
    (a) The Smurfs
    (b) Davy Jones
    (c) The Little Mermaid
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.

    In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
    (a) Captain Kid
    (b) Charles Lindberg
    (c) Mother Teresa
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
    (a) Scooby Doo
    (b) The Tooth Fairy
    (c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid.
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
    (a) Richard Simmons
    (b) Grandma Moses
    (c) Michael Jordan
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
    (a) Mr. Rogers
    (b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
    (c) The WWF, to promote "Mustapha the Merciless"
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    On 9/11/02, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed and thousands of people were killed by:
    (a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
    (b) The Supreme Court of Florida
    (c) Mr. Bean
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
    (a) Enron
    (b) The Lutheran Church
    (c) The NFL
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

    In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
    (a) Bonnie and Clyde
    (b) Captain Kangaroo
    (c) Billy Graham
    (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40



    Hmmm . . . no patterns anywhere to justify profiling!!!
     
  2. cdhale

    cdhale Member

    My brother recently traveled from Lubbock, TX to Houston, TX. He was stopped twice by security, forced to remove his boots, socks, etc both times, held for quite awhile (just not quite long enough to miss his flight:rolleyes: ) while he had to answer a load of questions. Why is this funny, you may ask?
    My 29 year old white brother, traveling with his wife and two small children (ages 3 and 5). Oh yeah, he was on his way to an interview as a youth minister (OK, the screener couldn't have known that, but it does add to the irony).
    Doesn't he sound like the kind of guy you need to detain not once, but twice on a 2 hour flight?
    I am definitely looking forward to my trip to Europe this summer!!:eek:

    clint
     
  3. blahetka

    blahetka New Member

    There was a story shortly after flights resumed. Airport security at Chicago's O'Hare airport confiscated an elderly lady's knitting needles.

    They were afraid she would knit an afghan.
     
  4. irat

    irat New Member

    when to profile???

    The problem with profiling depends on what you fear. Different crimes, different target suspects.
    If you are worried about someone blowing up a federal building, you might look out for white males between 25 and 40 with crew cuts and driving vans.
    If you are worried about individuals who shoot at or threaten planned parenthood staff, you might look for white men and women between 25 and 40.
    If you are looking for individuals who filed suspect auditing reports on major companies, you might look for white affluent males between 30 and 45.
    If you are worried about people starting degree mills you would target....???
     
  5. BillDayson

    BillDayson New Member

    Start growing your beard right now, and wear a huge turban wrapped around your head when you get on the plane.

    Wear great big Air Jordans with wires sticking out. That helps too.

    You will pass right through airport security, no questions asked.

    Have a pleasant flight, sir.

    (Added note: When you try this, make sure you aren't booked on El Al)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 24, 2002
  6. cdhale

    cdhale Member

    This actually made me laugh out loud - really. Thanks.
    clint
     

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