News that could only be revealed today: Tom Head (who gives thanks every day his parents did not call him Richard) finally discloses that the prestigious Australian University where he’ll be pursuing his Ph.D. is none other than Greenwich University. Gert Potgieter is actually a pseudonym; he chose that name only because he thought it sounded cool and the letters could be rearranged to spell “get pert goiter.” Tom Nixon doesn’t even believe in moderation, and, in fact, believes that Hippocrates was dead wrong when he said, “Everything in excess is opposed to nature.” Russell Morris is actually the head of a Buwish (half Buddhist, half Jewish) religious cult that chants, “Ommm… Shalom.” Famed cookbook author John Bear is the graduate of an (GASP!!!) unaccredited cooking school. Bruce is not really a police officer (although he had a walk-on part in the movie Police Academy 3), and, in reality, posts from prison where he is doing 10 to 30 for buying beer on a Sunday and breaking Massachusetts’s co-habitation laws. Peter French once actually posted while he was sober. Bill is a lesbian. Rumors about Chip starting DegreeInfo University are actually true; the DNS servers are masking the fact that the Web site is actually hosted in… St Kitts! Rich Douglas is just one of the many aliases used by Sheila Danzig. Steve Levicoff was one of the original Village People, but was kicked out of the group (before they made it big) for taking his truck driver persona (and outfit) too seriously. Gus Sainz acknowledges he made a mistake in advising others as to the perils of unaccredited schools, and now believes that the most important thing in choosing a school is how cool the diploma looks, and any school whose Web site does not prominently display a picture of the diploma should not be trusted. Happy New Year!!!
Wrong, Gert! I expected better research skills than that from you. The cult is actually an eclectic fusion of Hinduism, Humanism and the principles of legitimate distance learning. The chant goes like this, and is repeated five times per day while facing the location of the nearest regional/GAAP accreditor: Uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm, Uuuummmmmmmmmmmmmm I have within myself the power to learn Legitimate degrees are all I shall earn As I continue the path of Reincarnation I shall ever promote Distance Education
Very cute for April 1st. Just for the record, I really am a police officer (if I was going to lie about my job, I'd choose thoracic surgeon, venture capitalist, or something equally exotic/impressive). I have bought beer on Sundays, but it was always either in New Hampshire or during the annual suspension of MA blue laws from Thanksgiving until New Year's Eve. As for co-habitation, I hereby invoke my rights under Amendment V of the US Constitution, and Article XII of the Massachusetts Declaration of Rights, and respectfully refuse to answer. In all seriousness, MA repealed the co-habitation statute years ago, although there are many other arcane laws still on the books. Bruce
The less charitable may find this difficult to believe. Could you provide the date of the missive and a cite detailing its title and contents, please. .
