Easter story

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by John Bear, Mar 30, 2002.

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  1. John Bear

    John Bear Senior Member

    The pastor asked his Sunday School class about the meaning of Easter.

    "I know," said the Columbia State graduate. "It is when Jesus put on his red coat and boots and flew all around the world distributing presents to children."

    "I know," said the LaSalle graduate. "It is when Jesus crossed the Delaware and led the troops to victory over the British."

    "I know," said the Harvard graduate. "It is when the Romans cricified Jesus . . . "

    "Thank goodness," said the pastor. And then?"

    "And then they buried him in a grave and put a big rock in front."

    "Yes, yes! And then?"

    "And then three days later, on Sunday, they came and moved the rock."

    "Yes, yes! And then?"

    "And then Jesus came out and saw his shadow, and they had six more weeks of winter."
     
  2. Guest

    Guest Guest

    John,

    Actually, this looks like a Ph.D. dissertation in New Testament theology from American College of Metaphysical Theology. Not bad for $199, huh? :rolleyes:

    www.americancollege.com

    And I do believe ACMT would have graduated you magna cum laude for the fine work. :D
     
  3. Craig Hargis

    Craig Hargis Member

    No Russell: I think, just like the story says, its the abstract of a dissertation from Harvard Divinity School: Jesus, Groundhogs, and the Equinox: Myths of Resurrection and Rebirth in the Bible and other Folklore.

    Blessings!

    Craig
     
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Perhaps, Craig, however this dissertaton topic would be much too conservative for Harvard. :eek:
     
  5. Craig Hargis

    Craig Hargis Member

    I'm sorry Russell: You are absolutely right. I suppose that is why my degree (that and the $45,000 price difference) is not from "Good ol' Harvard." Here is my revised title:
    The "His-torical" Jesus, God-talk, Groundhogs, and "Textformance" Anxiety in the Bible, Regional Folklore, and Latrinalia: Forming "God" in the image of "Him."

    There, Russell

    Blessings

    Craig
     
  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    $45,000 is probably a very low estimate, Craig. :D

    Have a blessed Easter!
     
  7. Guest

    Guest Guest

    As an aside. I remember a Chaplain Assistant who told me that the deputy post Chaplain, who was a Christian Scientist (oxymoron), hauled him into his office one day. The Chaplain was a graduate of either Harvard Divinity School or Princeton Theological Seminary and the assistant had a B.A. in Sport something or other and an associates from Rhema. The assistant was very charismatically oriented and somewhat annoying and had evidentallly gotten under the chaplain's skin. The chaplain proceeded to attack the assistant's faith behind closed doors and informed him that the whole resurrection thing was a myth, etc. He also informed him that he certainly knew more about Christianity as he was a graduate of one these fine ivy league theological schools (which ever one it was). Whatever these rather liberal seminaries are teaching I am not sure how close it comes to christianity.

    North

     
  8. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I know this isn't a forum on religion, but one day, North, one day! "Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord." Can you imagine the surprise of those who bought into the MYTH that it was all a myth?

    I also know that this will open the door for immediate criticism, but let it be. Other posters feel the freedom to use off color inuendo, blatant expletives and vulgarity--so I think I will exercise my right to free speech as well. Relativism, secularism, pluralism and humanism shall one day be revealed for the transparent truths they are--containing no more substance than a degree mill degree.
     
  9. Chip

    Chip Administrator

    Um, er, ah... it *is* Easter, but let's pleeeeeeease avoid discussions on religion, 'cause nobody will convince anyone else to change their opinion, and all it will do is create a lot of argument and flaming, which we definitely don't need.

    I may or may not hold a different view than Russell, but in any case, I certainly respect his right to hold his opinion. At the same time, it's not fair to those who hold differing opinions to allow *anyone* to state or imply that their viewpoint on matters of religion or spirituality is the only correct one... so let's just avoid what could otherwise be a contentious topic if we can.

    Thanks for your understanding :)
     
  10. Craig Hargis

    Craig Hargis Member

    For confessing themselves wise, they made themselves fools.

    On the third day he arose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures...

    He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead and His kingdom will have no end.

    Amen, Russell: ALL of History IS His story.


    In the Risen Lord at Easter

    Craig
     
  11. Craig Hargis

    Craig Hargis Member

    Chip:

    I was not ignoring your request. I was writing my response to Russell, and you poted just seconds before me.

    But, anyway, the thread is "an Easter Story" in the off-topic section.

    At any rate, I did not see your post before I posted.

    Happy Easter

    Craig
     
  12. Chip

    Chip Administrator

    No problem, it's happened to me as well :) Happy easter!
     
  13. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Certainly, Chip, no flaming or argumentation here. Its really difficult to hold one's peace when the founder of every world religion is still in the grave---except one!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Easter blessings to all!
     
  14. Tracy Gies

    Tracy Gies New Member

    Who knows? Maybe this is the one thing we will all eventually be able to agree upon.

    Thanks Russell, if we don't do it, the rocks will.

    Tracy<><
     
  15. Tracy Gies

    Tracy Gies New Member

    Either way, any Harvard dissertation worth its salt is eventually going to get around to topic of why America sucks. (I think that is one of the learning objectives of an ivy-league education.);)

    Tracy<><
     
  16. Craig Hargis

    Craig Hargis Member

    Interesting, too Tracy and Russell, when we remember that Harvard, and Yale both were founded as divinity schools for the training of Puritan clergy. Harvard professors through the fifties and into the sixties proclaimed their roles as the "Custodians of Culture." How things have changed, when today so very often the secular university is the custodian of sexual perversion, anti-Americanism, disinformation, and the slander of God. I wonder how many Puritan clergy Harvard graduated this year?

    How sad it is that the mantra of contemporary American university culture is that all truth is relative, all opinions (except those reflecting Christian orthodoxy) are valid, and all truth is inward.

    I left, in disgust, a very major secular university in California at the end of the dissertation phase (I simply never filed) because a female grad student was publically berated in the harshest language for becoming pregnant (and, most insultingly, knowing who the father was...her husband) They, some professors and several grad students, felt that any serious grad student who was weak enough to allow that to happen would do the wise thing and abort the child. When the student reacted in horror to that suggestion, one professor called her a "breeder, " and suggested she go home and let her husband [blank] her! I no longer wanted their degree.

    So it stands on Easter morning, 2002

    and some still await the culmination of history

    I.H.S.
    Craig
     
  17. Rich Douglas

    Rich Douglas Well-Known Member

    Neat trick. Of course, I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear, but it didn't make me want to join a cult.

    I doubt many religious arguments begin with the non-believer, who's probably minding his own business. Rather, they're a result of proselytizing. If one doesn't want one's religious beliefs confronted, perhaps one should keep them under one's hat. Especially the part about all the other religious leaders being in the grave, except one. Christians Uber Alles?

    (I apologize for the flame-like nature of this. I really don't care what others think, believe, or practice regarding religion. In fact, freedom of religion is one of our country's greatest strengths. But so is freedom from religion. But to toss it out there like the rest of us don't get the obvious truth in it is extremely offensive to me. If "they" can make these statements, then others should be allowed to counter. What I would prefer to that is for this kind of talk to be taken elsewhere.)

    Rich Douglas
     
  18. Tom Head

    Tom Head New Member

    I think this whole thread is fine, but then I enjoy "Crossfire," too, so take that for what it's worth.

    I'm not going to speak on Russell's behalf, but if I were to make a guess, I would say that he's a Christian by witness and experience; which is to say that he places particular emphasis on certain testimony and certain experiences. Rich has presumably not had said experiences, and places less weight on said testimony, so he has no compelling reason to be a Christian. I don't blame him. And as a steward of the faith, Russell's third most important job is to witness--so I don't blame him, either.

    But I do blame the more established public thinkers on "both sides" for not creating a potential dialogue point between Christians and non-Christians by pointing out that Easter, as a resurrection festival that takes place about a week after the Vernal Equinox, is very relevant to the secular human story; no visible creature on earth can survive without eating corpses, and our survival, as a civilization, is possible because many people chose to give their lives (all at once, or bit by bit). And I think the fruits of their deaths provide a sort of resurrection, one worth celebrating at this time of year, and one that can be likened to the idea of the Cross. Yesterday's sun sets, and today's sun rises. Happy Easter.



    Cheers,
     
  19. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Forgive the offense, Rich, which was certainly not my intention. I understand completely why you are offended.
     
  20. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Unfortunately very true.

    What pompous idiocy! No matter how bizarre some academics get there is always something more bizarre waiting around the corner. Who is that ethicist/Ivy league professor (Singer??) advocating retroactive abortion (ie infants AFTER birth), bestiality, as well as the usual euthanasia.

    Zeeesh!

    North
     

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