My wife caught me doing the deed. . .

So I haven't been exactly forthcoming with my wife about my intentions to pursue an MBA, and last night she discovered the spreadsheet I was using to research and compare various programs on my computer. (Yes I used a spreadsheet, I'm a dork, I get it) :moon:

I never felt the need to bring this little idea to her attention because I am not married to the idea. I keep things pretty close to the chest until I've make a decision, so I wasn't keeping it from her, I just didn't feel the need to disclose my research.

My wife's reaction was mixed. She felt that we cannot afford it and this would also prolong our plans to have a baby. My wife stated she would like to see my put my bachelors degree to better use BEFORE making the decision to move forward and get an MBA.

I was thinking that with the economy in the tank, and job prospects being what they are, it makes perfect sense to move forward with my education; thus, increasing my job prospects. Now before anyone counsels me on the "Happy Wife - Happy Life" speech, know that I was thinking the above but refrained from telling her what I thought. I like to have my guns loaded prior to the engagement, and avoid the scramble to trying to engage my wife in a half cocked argument because she is quicker on the uptake than I am on the fly and I would more than likely loss that argument. (Know your limitations)

So moving forward I will continue my research and if I decide to go after an MBA, I will come up with a method to convince my wife to rally behind the idea. Anyone else have a similar issue?

 

No I could decide to do a DBA and my wife would be cool about it. My degrees paid for themselves several times over. Good luck dude. Vaya con dios and all of that stuff.

Abner

 

Ask yourself this, what's more important.. affording the necessities in life or having another child and being ABLE to afford it?? That is a fairly logical question. And before anyone jumps down my throat I am a female. I have considered this issue with my husband but you know what? The economy sucks right now and I would rather be able to have the opportunity to get a better job AND afford the ability to have a child with the Doctorate degree I am achieving - my husband knows this and sees my logistical point of thought on it as well. In the end, our goal is to have a bit more financial stability first before bringing in another human being to care for. I want to ensure both of us can manage to do it easily and I feel that is the right way of looking at the issue. Some call it being selfish but I consider it a solid and smart financial plan for our family's future goal. Best of luck to you and do what you feel is right for yourself and building your family's future.

 

I also keep a spreadsheet of programs I am looking at that include pros, cons, costs, degrees, school reputation, etc. When I need my wife support I give her the facts but, like you, I wait until I have really decided on a program. If I told her all of the programs I was considering she would be as screwed up as I am! Lock in the facts, explain that there is a plan, and go for it.

As far as the "wait until the economy is better" approach, I have my own take on that. When the economy turns (what ever that may mean) and the job market opens, employers will want to hire people that have the skills and education. How can you be prepared to take a job today when there is a program that you will finish in two or three years? My coworker said he would get XX certification when the opportunity for promotion opened up. I explain that would be to late because they will want someone that already has that cert, not someone that says, "I promise if you hire me today, I will learn this new skill by X date". Does that make sense?

As far as cost, there are so many programs out there under 10K such as Amberton, FHSU, UL - Monroe, Jacksonville State, etc. (all non-profits) and Trident is pretty cheap for military/former military at only $12K for an MBA (for-profit).

 

VERY good points.

Abner

 

Why does this prolong having a baby? It just means the need to have a more structured budget.

My first child was born in the second year of my MA and my second child was born 6 months after graduation. Once we had our first child, my wife quit work and stayed home (and doesn't ever plan to return). It took me 4 years to do my MA and next spring I'll finish my PhD after another 4 years. I'll be debt-free for both degrees (no consumer debt either) and we'll have had 6 children after 13 years of marriage.

It took sacrifice in other areas (I drive a 94 Corolla; she drives a 99 Sienna) and more time (grad school from 2000 to 2012 with a 3-year break between degrees to save up money). But it'll work. You just have to determine priorities.

 

Just remain calm so you don't end up in this situation

YouTube - Mortal Kombat Theme


Abner

 

Your wife has, seemingly, three valid concerns: financial viability, your current resume based on the bachelor's, and her (your?) desire to start (I'm inferring from your post this would be your first) a family. It seems they all need to be considered and answered to her satisfaction before you proceed to ensure she is supportive and does not come resentful of the situation over time.

If I were you (thank goodness I'm not!!) I'd get a job on the basis of the BA to get some meat onto the resume, start the master's degree and make the baby. No reason to not!

 

Yes, many times. We have a generic rule at our house, each person has veto power. So, if one doesn't care- then the other one goes ahead with whatever (kitchen remodel, where we go on vacation, if I change homeschool curriculum, if we mow the grass or Friday or Saturday, what I cook for dinner, etc) BUT, if one says no, no trumps all. It's worked out well for nearly 2 decades.

EDIT: I agree with Greymatter as well. Children and families merge and evolve your life, as they should. Get on a budget, and pay cash.

 

Is the debt going to be worth it there are lots of MBA's in not so nice work one has his guitar busking right now and working at the local Walmart in a low lever supervision job. She has the right to be concerned your her husband and she has a home and child to consider if you run up debt and don't get a career going with it that is going to make the investment worth it your risking her and the child. That is how a woman would see it.

What you need to do is work this out maybe get a decent job, plan to get your MBA part-time paying cash and see if you can afford a child but as a husband you must put her first and her needs, she wants a child and that is important to her. She wants you to be stable and have a stable life with you so can you do these things and go to school?

 

NorCal,

Where are you working now? Are in a position that requires an MBA? Are you gaining management / leadership experience? These are all things to consider. In my opinion, an online MBA if for people that are "already there" or have some of the core skills from expereince not for people that want to "get there" with nothing to bring to the table. In my previous post regarding being prepared when the opportunity comes up, I was thinking if you are a manager wanting to move to director or lead person looking to move into management.

 

I am a cop that does NOT want to remain in the career field long term. My current position does not require a degree at all (you don't need a degree to be a cop), but I'd like to re-enlist and peruse a military commission. Currently I am gaining experience as a low level supervisor, but not as a manager/ commander.

 

Save your money. Re-enlist, then let the military pay for it!

 

If you already have a BS or BA that should be enough to re-enlist in the military and earn a commission. I don't think a graduate degree would make the process any more of a sure thing.

Your wife has a point in that there is a time clock ticking on having a baby (we've just had 2 in the last 2 years). That said earning a degree with babies and toddlers running around is about 200% more difficult than it otherwise would be. (my percentage is an estimate...it might be 1000% more difficult).

I'd say you are both right but you need to get your priorities in order. Earning an MBA got me out of law enforcement and enabled me to be a better husband and father if for no other reason than I am home to do it.

 

I hope this is not to personal

Hey Norcal,

Your wife is ready to have a baby, but are you? I think a couple should have a child when they are BOTH ready. If you you are not ready, a couple more years won't hurt anything.

Just thought I would throw that out there. As far as the MBA thing. Years ago, my brother was laid off as a top level executive in private industry. He was recruited by the popo (cops) to utilize his MBA. He reports directly to the police Chief, and helps coordinate theft/fraud ring stings with the cops, CIA, FBI, and any other agency as needed. He also does extensive analysis. It has worked out well for him. As a cop, there are many ways you can utilize an MBA. Maybe some type of analyst (8am-5pm) type of job. You would have a pension, and more stability than private.

Just my two centavos!

Abner

 

Once I causally mentioned how neat it would be to do a PharmD or JD next. My wife's reaction is something like this: :chairshot:

 

My wife had pretty much the same reaction regarding me pursuing another graduate degree since I finished up my MPH in 2008. For some reason, her stance on it completely changed a few months ago and I started class today.

 

Here is what you do man. Set up a very romantic get away to the Bahamas, Hawaii or some other place. Have thousands of rose petals carefully and artistically strewn about the bed at the hotel, order champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, massages, etc. Then drop the bomb on her! Just don't drop the bomb right away. Kind of ease in to it after a few days. Get it?

Abner
El Romantico