Your Identity & Credentials: Let me see your papers, please.

Biography

Here is an opportunity to introduce yourself. This can include your educational credentials, your background, your job or anything else that you feel is relevant to your life experiences.

The following post prompted me to start this interesting thread:

I was born in 1959 as a military brat and also served in the U.S. Army for five years as a military policeman. I served both as an enlisted man and as a commissioned officer (5 years active duty and 3 years in the National Guard).

I have worked for a Florida sheriff’s office for the last 10 years in the following capacities:
Patrol Division, 7 years
School Resource Officer, 2 years
Detective Bureau, 1 year (current assignment)

My education is:
A.A., Los Angeles Valley College, general education
B.S., International College, business management
M.A., University of South Florida, criminology (pursuing with an anticipated graduation date in 2003).

I am a also a “career student” who has amassed 190 semester credits, of which 24 are through an external program at Columbia Union College. John Bear’s book taught me about external degrees.

By Florida state law, it is illegal for anyone to post my photo, address or phone number since I‘m a law enforcement officer. With all due respect, I wish to invoke this without disclosing my identity. If you really want to know my name, then send me an email and we’ll discuss it.

And what is your fascinating biography?

 

I was born in a trunk in the Princess Theater in Pocatello, Idaho . . .

No, wait . . . that was Judy Garland in A Star Is Born.

 

I was born under a rock --HEY, that might make me a slug! However, I was able to pull myself up by my slug bootstraps and attend a few classes. Now I am known as Super Slug.

What are you going to do with all the fascinating replies you are sure to receive?

Bill AKA Super Slug

 

I was born at a very early age. I don't get no respect, I tell ya. When I was born, the doctor didn't spank me, he spanked my mother. <ba da boom>

Ya can't blame him though. Look at this face. I've seen better mugs on the wrong side of a jackass.

When I was a kid I got no respect. Once when I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again." They sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

I worked in a pet store as a boy and people kept asking how big I'd get.

I wasn't no good in school either, I tell ya. They keep sending me to the school nurse because they said I made them sick. I got so depressed, one day I told the nurse that I'd taken a bunch of sleeping pills. She told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

I graduated ahead of my high school class, though. The teachers all chipped in and bought me a diploma from a mail order catalog.

I did manage to get into college. I found an unlocked window.

When I got older, my wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. <ba da boom>

<above contains some original and some plagiarized material>

 

Bill,

Its always good to know what a fellow distance learner looks like. I thought you were a little older than what you look.

Russell

 

Actually that makes a lot of sense and IS A VERY IMPORTANT reason to allow anoymous postings. Some people do have valid reasons why their personnal information MUST be kept privet (sp?).

While at our place we do keep a formal web presence (www.albrechts.com and www.albrechts.com/koalmnr/ and www.albrechts.com/construction/) we do not divulge our home street address and have worked to purge it whenever we can (speaking fro my family not in the imperial sense).



------------------
M. C. (Mike) Albrecht, PE

 

Most people have no idea how much information can be garnered from just a name. I would not go into details on a forum like this, but suffice it to say that citizens would be shocked[/I] if they knew.

But citizens don’t know and it will remain a secret.

 

I just logged on and I’m curious to see what kinds of postings the college graduates have made!

A college education produces a sharp mind, right? Subsequently, we should have some sharp responses! No dull wits here!

Did the lack of oxygen cause any brain damage? <snicker>

What are you going to do with all the fascinating replies you are sure to receive?

AKA Bill Hurd[/quote]Well, after reading some of these (dull witted? ) postings, they’ll be filed in short term memory (loss).

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. A mental wasteland is even worse!

I’ve heard better excuses (and quicker thinking) on traffic stops.

 

Mannn I wish we could edit. Here's a second try:

I just logged on and I’m curious to see what kinds of postings the college graduates have made!

A college education produces a sharp mind, right? Subsequently, we should have some sharp responses! No dull wits here!

Did the lack of oxygen cause any brain damage? <snicker>

AKA Bill Hurd [/quote]Well, after reading some of these (dull witted?) postings, they’ll be filed in short term memory (loss).

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. A mental wasteland is even worse!

I’ve heard better excuses (and quicker thinking) on traffic stops.

 

Actually, I think we got some great responses -- especially from Steve. Not that I've ever understood the fascination about Judy Garland amongst the gay community. There was an album entitled "Born in a Trunk" that presumably appeared after the movie, which was Garland's big comeback.

I also liked the responses from the two Bills. Does anyone know the original source of the saying "born under a rock"?

 

Hi Gert,

I just thought I was being hazed, sort of like before one is allowed to join a frat.

 

I grew up on a Vermont farm. I would have stayed in farming, but it was an udder failure.
I like swimming. When I went in the lake, it looked like fish have more fun in their schools, than I have in mine. and it is really hard in to see which fish in the school is the "teacher".
I tried working as a school counselor, but I couldn't get any guidance.
I tried opening a substance abuse counseling business, but I can't figure out why all my clients try to pay me in "empties"?

 

Has anyone ever heard of the charge, "Possession" (with intent to distribute)? It's a felony.

Has anyone ever heard of the charge, "Ignorance" (with intent to distribute)? This one should be a capitol felony.

 

It is only a capitol offense when done by a member of the legislature, or when done in Washington, D.C.

If ignorance is bliss, would two ignorant people be a blister?

These are sent in jest -- after all, we are in the off-topic forum.

SS (my new pseudonym)

 

Bill,

This thread is going to make me pull my hair out.

 

If "pro" is the opposite of "con", is the opposite of "progress", "congress"?
If "vegetarians" eat "vegetables", do "cannibles" eat "cans"?

 

Someone asked me to contribute to a "Can Food Drive" but I declined because I still don't know what cans eat.

 

And if the plural of radius is radii, does that mean that the plural of penis is penii? Or that less than two martinis is a martinus?

Now, let's practice our grammar . . . I shit, I shat, I have shut.

 

If shunned is the past tense of shun,
And walked is the past tense of walk,
What is the present tense of naked?

Why is it a 'pair of pants' when there is only 1? What about a 'pair of sissors'?

 

Actually pants originally came as two seperate legs that you tied on to a central section, so they were a pair of pants.