I've mentioned, from time to time, the charming little book called "Epithetology" by Curtis A. Bartholomew, Consulting Epithetologist, published in 1948. It purports to be the definitive compendium of Recognized Degrees and their Correct Abbreviations: about 1,000 of them. Bartholomew is emphatic about the importance of never using the same abbreviation for two degrees. He spends an entire page ranting about those people who use "B.M." for "Bachelor of Music," instead of the correct "Bachelor of Medicine." (It should be B.Mus, he insists.) For the Fall Puzzler, I have selected three abbreviations from this book. B. Ho. Ec. B.A.C.E. B.B.C Your challenge is to provide the name of the "Recognized Degree" for that abbreviation. The first correct list -- or the closest three guesses by October 12 -- win the prize, which in this case is a copy of the book "The Associates" by Margolin, suggested here by Hille a few weeks ago. It's a pretty good legal thriller, set in Portland, Oregon, in which a key plot twist turns on the fact that an expert witness turns out to have two fake degrees. Supply your answers (or guesses) here, by hitting "Reply." If no one has all three correct, then the closest supplied by October 12 is the winner. Decision of the judge is final. PS: It's not "Home Economics." That would be too easy.
B. Ho. Ec. Bachelor of Horticultural Economics B.A.C.E. Bachelor of Arts in Community Education B.B.C Bachelor of Broadcasting Communications ------------------ Bill Gossett
Bachelor of Horticultural Ecology Bachelor of Arts in Christian Education Bachelor of Biblical Counseling
Of course it’s not Bachelor of Home Economics, Dr. Bear, but your stating so makes for a wonderful red herring. You could have also stated that although listed as such in many publications, B.A.C.E. did not stand for the British Association of Consulting Engineers and B.B.C. did not stand for Bachelor of Building Construction. The correct degrees for the abbreviations are as follows: B.Ho.Ec. Bachelor of Household Economy B.A.C.E. Bachelor of Air Conditioning Engineering B.B.C. Bachelor of Beauty Culture Gus Sainz
Bachelor of Holistic Ecclesiology Bacher of Arts in Cliometric Eudemonism Bachelor of Biblical Consubstantiation
All right, so there are two copies of Epithetology left on the planet. Either that or Gus Sainz sneaked into my office last night. It is almost inconceivable that one could come up with all three degrees intuitively. Regardless, Gus is indeed correct on all three, and if he will E-mail me a mailing address, I will dispatch my copy of The Associate. John Bear [email protected]
Gus has earned enough life experience credit on this one to warrant a Ph.D. from Trinity College & University. His research and thesis (defining the three degree titles) would readily qualify as meeting all TCU requirements for this degree. Just don't list it on your CV, Gus, if you are awarded one. Russell
Russell: Thank you for your kind words. I am indeed awaiting my degree from Trinity College and University, although I am a bit leery of their customer service and administration. A few months ago, I asked my wife to enquire as to requirements for a degree. She told me that they informed her that they would immediately translate all my life experience into academic credit, and that I qualified for a Master’s degree. All that would be required was that I pay the $995.00 fee. I gave her my credit card and ask her to make the arrangements. Although the charges appeared on the following month’s VISA statement, to date I still have not received my degree. When I asked my wife to call and find out what happened, she told me that they informed her that they had made a mistake and that I qualified for a Ph.D., not a Master’s degree. All that would be required was an additional $995.00 fee. She told me that the problem was with the company that processed Trinity College and University’s credit card payments, and that they had switched processing companies. Whereas the first fee showed up on my credit card statement as “Macy’s”, the new additional fee would now show up as “Bloomingdale’s”. In any event, I once again handed her my credit card (maybe it was the way she smiled and the gleam in her eyes when she called me “Dr. Sainz”). Although I don’t quite trust TCU, and can’t shake off a funny feeling, I figure a person smart enough to earn a Ph.D. without having to do any work would know immediately if he or she was being conned. Gus Sainz
Dear Bear: My mentor (Karnak the Magnificent) would be dismayed if it were to come to his attention that my intuition and psychic skills were being called into question. On the other hand, he would be quite pleased to know that I have finally my mastered discorporation and astral travel. You have a very nice office, Dr. Bear, although the décor is not quite to my tastes. Gus Sainz
My profuse apologies, it is painfully obvious that my mastery of psychic arts was at the expense of spelling and grammar. Please make that “Dear Dr. Bear”. Additionally, it appears that the vestiges of my ego reared its ugly head and inserted a possessive where none is needed; please strike the superfluous “my” between “finally” and “mastered”. Gus Sainz, whose telekinetic powers are not sufficiently developed to rearrange word and letters after they have posted on this forum.
Excellent sarcasm, Gus. I love it. Seriously, I didn't realize that Macy's and Bloomingdale's had entered the academic arena. Perhaps JC Penney has done so as well. Since I am going with my wife to the mall this evening, I may just browse over into the "degree" department and see what kind of bargains I can find. Russell
Dr. Bear: Please accept my apologies. I did indeed forget that cookies are what are traditionally put out for visitors. In fact, for many years, that is precisely what the children put out for Santa’s visit. As they got older, however, they discovered that he prefers a nice a nice glass of Calvados or Armagnac… Gus Sainz
Ha! You've been tricked. He left bean curd with catnip pesto for you. If you'd been there, you'd have known that.
