I was in the office building elevator. There was another guy in there with me. The elevator stopped on the third floor. A nice looking blonde entered. She said, "T G I F". The guy next to me replied, "S H I T". The young lady said, "T G I F" again, and the guy said "S H I T " back to her. She let out a sigh, the said, "T G I F", that means, "Thank Goodness It's Friday". The guy says, "I know, what it means; but Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
The Most Complete List Of Ways To Annoy People and Cops. Annoy People 1. Pay tolls with $100 bills 2. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the middle of the parking lot 3. Eat produce at the market; don't buy it 4. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 5. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April 6. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons 7. Knock and ask "How is it going?" to someone constipated in a public bathroom stall. 8. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines 9. Announce when you're going to the bathroom 10. Chew other people's pencils 11. Invite lots of people to other people's parties. 12. Wear large hats during the movies 13. Touch strangers 14. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus 15. Bite your dentist's finger 16. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 18. Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads 19. Don't stand during hymns and anthems 20. Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa 21. Tell people they have bad breath 22. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 23. Flirt with a friend's spouse 24. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team 25. Shake with your left hand 26. Use the quote bunnies after every other word you say when talking to someone. 27. Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way". 28. Drum on every available surface. 29. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 30. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 31. Honk and wave to strangers. 32. Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange. 33. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 34. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register. 35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 36. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 39. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 40. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 41. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." Annoy Cops 42. Say out loud when he/she approaches you "You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?" 43. Ask to see his gun. 44. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly. 45. Say out loud "Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!" 46. Slap his hand and say "Bad cop! No donut!" 47. When he frisks you, say "You missed a spot", and grin. 48. After every other sentence oink like a pig quietly to yourself but loud enough for him to hear you. 49. Refer to him by his first name. 50. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it. http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/09/WaysToAnnoy.html --------------------------------------------- In the span of twenty years, I have been guilty of numbers 2, 3 ( candy ), 4, 6, 8, 9, 13, 14, 16, 20, 21, 23, 25, 28, 38, 40, 41. What can I say? I love annoying people.
1. Pay tolls with $100 bills I did this once, because that's all I had on me. The person didn't have enough change, so they waived me through. Excellent. 44. When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly. One of my favorite scenes in the movie Demolition Man is when Wesley Snipes's character is on trial, and indicates his refusal to participate by loudly translating everything they say into Spanish. -=Steve=-
I called cops by their first name. However, that was when I worked in law enforcement. A sheriff's deputy pulled me over once in my undergrad years. Before he spoke I presented my license, registration, and proof of insurance. " No ticket, no warning. All he said was, "just be careful and drive safe". Of course, I acknowledged my mistake. Cooperation and politeness is all it took.
I left my university parking decal at home one day. So I tried to purchase a temp permit from a machine. None of them worked. So I left a note and two dollars in quarters next to my windshield wipers. In the evening, when I returned to my vehicle, the money was still there and no ticket was written. That was nice of them.
