High school essays.

Lerner · Jan 4, 2006

Purported actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed
by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants
in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,
like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes
just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
>
>7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
>
>8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
> because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
> at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
>
>9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
> bowling ball wouldn't.
>
>10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag
> filled with vegetable soup.
>
>11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
> eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
> Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
>
>12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
>
>13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you
> fry them in hot grease.
>
>14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
> the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
> left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
> at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
>
>15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
> that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
>
>16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
> had also never met.
>
>17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the
> East River.
>
>18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
> only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
>
>19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
>
>20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,
> this plan just might work.
>
>21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not
> eating for a while.
>
>22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
> but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land
> mine or something.
>
>23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
> leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
>
>24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with
> power tools.
>
>25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells,
> as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
>
>26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in
> any pH cleanser.
>
>27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
>
>28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it
> to the wall.
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AdAstra · Jan 4, 2006

gobsmacked

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High school essays.

Lerner Well-Known Member

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High school essays.

Lerner Well-Known Member

AdAstra Member

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