Men: Teach your son/nephew/cousin how to shake hands!

...so I will not grab a mushy set of limp fingers if I ever have to shake their hands. HOW DISGUSTING!

Don't let the young men in your life go into adulthood with this horrible habit. Show them the art of a firm handshake. And while you're at it, ask him to make good eye-to-eye contact during the handshake.

I'm not talking about a bone-crushingly firm shake...just confidently firm. To do otherwise totally defeats the point of the handshake. Hell, you're probably better off not shaking hands if all you can muster is a floppy set of digits.

I'm sorry but a limp-handed handshake is extremely off-putting and makes me question one's sincerity, competence and maturity until one proves otherwise, which is a poor start to a relationship of any sort.

This is not a macho thing. In fact, the successful women I know also have a nice, appropriately firm handshake which inspires confidence. So teach the young ladies in your life as well.

Thanks!

 

It's a meaningless thing.

 

I had a meeting with Alan Cranston about 15 years ago and was surprised at his limp handshake. Now I know why; handshakes can be quite painfull when one develops arthritus, Dupuytren's contracture, or similar ailments. So my advice is to use a gentle handshake with older contacts (say 50+).

 

Re: Re: Men: Teach your son/nephew/cousin how to shake hands!

Your point is what?

 

I don't think meaningless, it leaves an impression. Especially for the women - in my opinion.

 

I was always told that a man (or woman) with a firm handshake was a sign of an honest person - and it has proven itself to be true!!!


Now, Donald Trump, on the otherhand, does not believe in shaking hands - due to germs. Go Figure!

 

Re: Re: Re: Men: Teach your son/nephew/cousin how to shake hands!

That a handshake says nothing about a person's sincerity, confidence or maturity.

 

What about people with no hands?
What about traditional Japanese?
What about people from the Middle East with only a left hand?
What about lepers?
What about people with colds?
What about people with cold, clammy hands?
What about when you know you are shaking the hand of a known pathological liar?
What about those people who hold your hand much too long afterwards?
What about when you are in a locker-room shower?

 

If you mean that they bow as opposed to shake hands, it depends on the circumstances and how "traditional" they really are.

In my experience in the US as well as Japan most shake hands now, probably because it's easier to shake hands than for Westerners to learn the art of bowing properly

Cheers,
Mark

 

He always did on the Apprentice, he must make exceptions for TV

 

Wow, this motley crew can get itself sidetracked and wander astray of the point faster than in any forum I've ever haunted.

I, for one, understand exactly what the thread-starter is saying. Simply, notwithstanding whether a person is physically capable of executing a handshake at all (much less a "good" one), if a person does bother to extend a hand, they would be well-advised to not do so like a wimp and to put forth a handshake that won't feel like like a wiggly squid in the hand and, more to the point, won't give the wrong impression. Impression is, after all, the point. It's no different than bothering to make sure one's clothing is not only appropriate for the moment, but is also effective at conveying to others the unspoken message about yourself that you wish conveyed.

Harken back, Frank Capra fans among you, to the classic scene from the 1946 film "It's a Wonderful Life" in which George Baily (played by Jimmy Steward) is offered a cigar and nearly convinced by old Mr. Potter (played by Lionel Barrymore) to foresake his friends and depositors in the old Building and Loan and both sell same to Potter as well as become Potter's employee with a handsome salary and all the financial security Baily so coveted. It was, as anyone watching that scene could clearly see, the sliminess of Potter's handshake that brought Baily back to earth and shook him free of his momentary temptation to accept Potter's offer. It was, Baily believed, a deal with the Devil.

Handshakes mattered in 1946. And don't kid yourself, they matter today just as much. First impressions are lasting. Handshakes are all about first impressions. A wimpy or slimy handshake conveys a message of weakness or even untrustworthiness on subconscious levels of which we're often unaware but are, nevertheless, real. A bone-shattering, brutish handshake conveys a message of overcompensation, the need to control and impress, lack of interest in or care about whether the party (whose hand is being crushed) is experiencing discomfort or pain, and general immaturity -- with all the concomitant warnings same should telegraph to the recipient about whether the bone crusher is someone worthy of doing business with.

A proper handshake -- one that firm (but not too firm), deliberate, intentionally message-conveying, and at the same time welcoming and sincere -- is an art worth mastering.

Those who think it doesn't matter are mistaken... to their peril.

 

My cousin had the honor of shaking John Gotti's hand back in 1996 while at an Italian Restaurant in New York's little Italy (this was just before Gotti was indicted for tax evasion). Apparently, he had a very firm hand shake. He would look you straight in the eyes while shaking your hand. Now here was a guy who really meant business.

 

I agree it is a part of a first impression. Wimpy ones are a little unsavory. Overly firm ones are maddening. I've noticed on a few occasions the overly aggressive type who grabs your hand around the fingers where it's impossible to squeeze back, and then they proceed to squeeze your hand as if trying to crack a walnut. Awful!

More food for thought: I read an article by a hiring manager who said he always pays attention to the handshake. In particular, he notes a cold clammy hand (whether firm or not), as this is often a sign of nervousness.

This is a sometimes-affliction of mine in those situations. Any secrets for keeping your hand warm and dry when you're nervous, other than jamming it down your pants, or continual wiping on your pant leg.

 

A certain (small) amount of palm sweating -- especially during times like just before a job interview or other stressful moments -- is quite normal, and one shouldn't make too much of it. The pant leg wiping thing (or something approximately equivalent) just before entering the hiring authority's office is probably the easiest way to handle it. There are special towelets you can buy that are essentially dry, with the tiniest bit of talc -- not enough to even become powdery on one's clothes -- that you could keep in a pocket and wipe your hand just before entering the interview room.

Sweaty palms can also be genetic, and not a result of nervousness at all (although what you describe clearly appears to be).

A "normal" amount of palm sweat would be so small that it probably wouldn't even appear as dampness on the cloth of the pant leg...

...which brings us to the question, "How much is too much?" If one as a profuse sweaty palm problem, that's called "palmar hyperhidrosis." Allegedly 1 in 25 people have it -- around 8 million people in the U.S. I don't actually know if that's true or not, but certainly it's not terribly uncommon. Asians, interestingly, have a higher incidence per capita than other races.

Coldness of hands, as you mentioned, can be caused by a whole bunch of things from something as simple as poor circulation to a relatively harmess thing called "Raynaud's Syndrom."

Palmar hyperhidrosis and general coldness of hands, together, is what causes the overall "cold, clammy" thing you were talking about.

If any of it really and truly is a problem, it's quite correctable using certain oral medications (in mild cases), or (in more severe cases) one of a number of minimally-invasive throacic surgical techniques such as "keyhole surgical resection" of the sympathetic nerves in the upper thoracic region; or a more refined version thereof called "endoscopic thoracic sympathectomy" (ETS) (sometimes with the word "micro" in front of it, depending on precisely how the procedure is done).

There are all kinds of teas and herbs that some claim will fix the problem. And there are weird devices with funny little sponges and electrical vibrating things on them that claim to be able to stop the problem for up to six weeks. Beware! (Consult a physican!)

In any case, don't be sucked into a surgical procedure that you don't need. To be called "palmar hyperhidrosis," there really needs to be a lot of sweat -- pretty much dripping off your hands when you get stressed -- before any surgeon worth his/her salt would ever recommend the procedure. Different peole sweat in different amounts. A certain amount of it is to be expected, and one shouldn't run to a doctor and get one's sympathetic nerve severed just so they don't have to wipe their hand on their pants just before job interviews.

Get multiple opinions from physicians who really know what they're doing. Read-up on it on the Internet. Make your own decision armed with facts.

I'd rather send you to a government or consumer activist web site to learn all about it, but the truth is that there is this one doctor's web site (and, yes, he's trying to make you his patient, so act accordingly) contains more and better information than I've ever seen in any one web site dealing with the subject. So, this link is NOT an endorsement of the doctor who created it, the information therein is certainly potentially helpful and educational for people who have the problem:

http://www.handsdry.com

Good luck!

 

Use your feet

A firm bow will do

Shake their stub where their right hand used to be.

Wear a latex glove.

Wear a Gas Mask and a Latex Glove.

Don't shake their hand, they cant be trusted.

Give them your left hand and insist it is your right. Or, you can give them a lie dector test prior to shaking their hand.

If it is someone of the opposite sex, they are attracted to you. If it is some one of the same sex, they they may also be attracted to you. They may also have gum in the palm of their hand that got stuck to yours!!!

Well now.....Make sure it is their hand your shaking while in that steamy locker room!!!!

 

Why is it an "honor" to shake the hand of a criminal??

 

Most of the Italian-Americans living in New York saw Gotti as a hero. True, he was the head of the Cosa Nostra, but he invested millions of dollars into community development and social programs. My cousin shook his hand so he could tell everyone that he shook the hand of John Gotti.....and no...my cousin isn't a criminal. Back then he was a law student at Columbia University.

 

Wow. A wealth of information. Thanks.

 

Not this one and far fewer than you apparently believe. I didn't rate him very highly as a...what he was.

 

Up until I was about 22 or so, I had one of the weakest handshakes one could imagine. The idea of two grown men pressing their hands together in this antique ritual horrified me. I quite literally jumped out of my skin when some moron decided that he was going to squeeze my fingers in an attempt to see whether or not I was man enough for his Hurculean Grip Game.

My brother-in-law, upon shaking my hand when I was 19, formed the opinion of me that I was from Mars.

What hand-shakers might not realize is that some of us are quite loathe to touching a total stranger's skin just to prove to him that we, too, have brass ones.

Having been in enough public washrooms to know that some men take a leak at the urinal and then rush to their business meetings without washing their hands -- is it any wonder I find the idea disgusting?

That said, now that I am a team leader, I have to shake a lot of hands and play the same silly game myself. I've represeed my loathing for the custom in order to avoid offending. I do quite enjoy when our Japanese connections come into the office and are quite satisified with a perfectly hygenic bow.