This Just In: News Flashes for the Year 2035

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Gus Sainz, Mar 14, 2004.

Loading...
  1. Gus Sainz

    Gus Sainz New Member

    • Ozone created by electric cars now number one health hazard.
    • White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the third language.
    • Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
    • Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.
    • Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
    • Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
    • Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
    • France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.
    • Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
    • George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
    • Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
    • Results of 35 year study indicate that Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
    • Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
    • Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
    • Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
    • Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
    • New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered as weapons by January 2036.
    • Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
    • Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
    • IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
    • Florida voters still don't know how to use a Voting Machine.

    :D :D :D
     
  2. MarkIsrael@aol.com

    [email protected] New Member

    No headlines about DegreeInfo members?
     
  3. uncle janko

    uncle janko member

    Don't tempt me...
     
  4. MarkIsrael@aol.com

    [email protected] New Member

  5. Dennis Ruhl

    Dennis Ruhl member



    Save the environment - wipe your butt with an owl. Where did I hear that??
     
  6. decimon

    decimon Well-Known Member

    John Bear released from prison.

    Jimmy Clifton receives his PhTD.

    Mark Israel divorced by wife for having an inferior degree.

    Dennis Ruhl revealed to be behind the Romanian degree mills.

    Bruce Tait arrests Gus Sainz for unlicensed prognostication.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 15, 2004
  7. Bruce

    Bruce Moderator


    :D :D :D :D :D :D
     

Share This Page