Ya Got Trouble (with my apologies to that great scholar, Professor Hill) Henrik: Well, ya got trouble, my friend. Right here, I say trouble right here on DegreeInfo Why, sure, I'm a university owner Certainly mighty proud to say, I'm always mighty proud to say it I consider the hours I spend verifying wire transfers are golden Help you cultivate horse sense and a cool head and a keen eye 'Jever take and try to move your school from jurisdiction to jurisdiction in a quest to maintain the appearance of legitimacy? But just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to conduct self validation I say that any boob can apply for and by granted accreditation And I call that sloth, the first big step on the road to the depths of degreda- I say, first- medicinal wine from a teaspoon, then beer from a bottle And the next thing you know your school is having to conduct self-studies and payin' for on-site visits And listenin' to some big out-o'-town scholar hear him tell about academic standards Not a wholesome APL program, no, but a program where they actually want to see academic achievement Like to see yourself actually have to hit the books? Make your blood boil, well I should say Now, folks, let me show you what I mean You got one, two, three, four, five, six courses in a program Courses that others are trying to tell you how difficult they should be Just say no and that rhymes with 'O' and that stands for 'oversight' And all week long, you DegreeInfo members'll be fritterin' away I say, all you DegreeInfo members'll be fritterin' Fritterin' away their noontime, suppertime, choretime, too studying for exams Never mind gettin' dandelions pulled or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded Never mind pumpin' any water 'til your parents are caught with a cistern empty on a Saturday night and that's trouble Oh, ya got lots and lots o' trouble I'm thinkin' of the mature, experienced individuals, with extensive background in their fields Ya got trouble, folks, right here on DegreeInfo just say no, with a big ole ‘Whoa!’ and that rhymes with 'O' and that stands for 'oversight' Now I know all you folks are the right kind of people I'm gonna be perfectly frank Would you like to know what kind of conversation really goes on at most Departments or Ministries of Education? They'll be talkin' ‘bout standards, talkin’ ‘bout curriculum, talkin' ‘bout faculty credentials and qualifications And braggin' all about how they're make the students actually work for their degrees Now one fine day they leave their offices headin' for an on-site visit Erudite men and discerning women and standards Onerous requirements that'll make you and your fellow members actually have to prove they have acquired - knowledge! Friends, the inquiring mind is a dangerous thing, trouble! Members: Oh, we got trouble Henrik: Right here on DegreeInfo Members: Right here on DegreeInfo Henrik: Just say no, with a big ole ‘Whoa!’ and that rhymes with 'O' and that stands for 'oversight' Members: That stands for oversight Henrik: We surely got trouble Members: We surely got trouble Henrik: Right here on DegreeInfo Members: Right here Henrik: Gotta figure out a way to get you all a degree from my school Members: 'trouble' Henrik: Members of DegreeInfo, heed this warning before it's too late Watch for the tell-tale signs of corruption The minute your log on to this forum are you reading about issues of legitimacy? Are you discussing curriculums? The value of accreditation? Are you starting to memorize the names of well-known degree mills? Are certain words creeping into your conversation? Words like... 'GAAP?' And... 'what evidence do you have of this?' Well if so, my friends... Ya got trouble Members: Oh, we got trouble Henrik: Right here on DegreeInfo Members: Right here on DegreeInfo Henrik: Just say no, with a big ole whoa! and that rhymes with 'O' and that stands for 'oversight' Members: That stands for oversight Henrik: We've surely got trouble Members: We surely got trouble Henrik: Right here on DegreeInfo Members: Right here Henrik: Remember the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule? Oho, we got trouble We're in terrible, terrible trouble Adherence to any standards is the devil's tool Members: Devil's tool Henrik: Yes, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble Members: Oh, yes, we got trouble here, we got big, big trouble Henrik: Just say no Members: With a big ole whoa! Henrik: And that rhymes with 'O' Members: That rhymes with 'O' Henrik: And that stands for oversight Members: That stands for oversight Henrik: Remember my friends, listen to me, because I pass this way but once... *Any simililarities to persons living or dead is purely unintentional and coincidental but funny as hell.
Good night, my someone, good night, my love . . . ________________________ An esoteric response for those who know the whole score.
What an impressive performance. --John, discreetly disposing of the scrap of paper on which he was scribbling . . . "If you’re running some schools And don’t follow the rules Because oversight causes anxiety, You may give your degrees With what method you please To indulge in, without impropriety..."
