The ted heiks roast thread

Discussion in 'General Distance Learning Discussions' started by Kizmet, Jun 2, 2012.

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  1. Kizmet

    Kizmet Moderator

    Some of you may have noticed that our Esteemed Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member, Ted Heiks, is about to pass the 10,000 post milestone. In his honor the other Mods and I thought that a Roast Thread would be an appropriate tribute. So line up an post your honest thoughts about this Mod that we all love. And when I say "honest" I mean that you should say what you really think, not just nice polite stuff. It would be good if you could say something clever and funny, you know, not like Ted. OK, I'll start. Very few people know that it was actually me that nominated Ted to be a Moderator here at DegreeInfo. I can't imagine what I was thinking that day. Oh wait a sec, I remember now . . . Hey Ted! Ya know that check you sent me bounced! And that's the third time! I'm going to have to insist on a money order next time.

    We love you Ted!!! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:
     
    Kizmet, Jun 2, 2012
    #1
  2. Maxwell_Smart

    Maxwell_Smart Active Member

    With that many posts, we probably should be staging an intervention :smile:
     
    Maxwell_Smart, Jun 2, 2012
    #2
  3. japhy4529

    japhy4529 House Bassist

    Maybe DI should start up a mill, just to give Ted a PhD in Classical Forumology...

    Congrats Ted! You have provided a wealth of useful information over the years and I hope you continue doing so for many more.

    P.S. Were you ever able to get that baby squirrel out of your garage?
     
    japhy4529, Jun 2, 2012
    #3
  4. skidadl

    skidadl Member

    Wow, you guys are weak.

    Ted has attempted so many degrees to make up for the size of something else. Unfortunately most of them ended prematurely...just like his sex life.

    Which number is greater - the number of degrees that Ted has failed at or the number of marriages?
     
    skidadl, Jun 2, 2012
    #4
  5. skidadl

    skidadl Member

    If Ted had a nickel for every time he posted he would have...well...5 times 10,000 cents...can you at least figure that out, Ted?
     
    skidadl, Jun 2, 2012
    #5
  6. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    Well, that story has a sad ending. A couple of days after I posted that thread, I found a dead baby squirrel and it looked like it was crushed to death by a garage door closing on it. The day after that, I found another baby squirrel who looked like he/she was dying and I moved him/her out to the lawn where it did die. Probably died of starvation because he couldn't find its mother.
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 2, 2012
    #6
  7. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    Well, 5 x 10,000 cents = 50,000 cents divided by 100 = 500 dollars.
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 2, 2012
    #7
  8. skidadl

    skidadl Member

    Well that joke didn't work...
     
    skidadl, Jun 2, 2012
    #8
  9. skidadl

    skidadl Member

    I thought roasts were supposed to be brutal?
     
    skidadl, Jun 2, 2012
    #9
  10. Maniac Craniac

    Maniac Craniac Moderator Staff Member

    I've never dabbled in cannibalism, but after seeing the title of this thread, I can't help but to wonder what a Ted Heiks roast would taste like. Probably as bland and as dense as anything he posts on this site.

    Ted Heiks considers himself to be something special because he is about to hit 10,000 of said posts. 10,000 posts. 10,000 times over the past 7 years that a man who has more user titles than he does teeth left in his mouth had nothing better to do with himself. Let's not try to imagine what else he does with himself while sitting alone at the computer. I said try NOT to imagine. Well, then ok, go ahead and imagine. You might not like what you see...
    ...indeed. Here is his old profile picture.

    [​IMG]

    However, what is entirely undeniable is that the man has legitimate star power. In fact, I'm pleased to announce, for the first time in the history of DegreeInfo, we will be having celebrities address their comments to Theo the Educated Derelict via satellite!

    First, a message from current WWE Champion, CM Punk. CM Punk, thanks for joining us. We are all happy to come together here to honor our friend, Ted. Do you have anything you would like to say to him?

    [video=youtube;9QGgvDejEiI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QGgvDejEiI[/video]

    What more could one possibly say, when you summed up our feelings exactly? Well, let's give someone else a shot. Peter Griffin, we know that you and Ted Heiks go way back. How does it feel to know that one of your personal friends is about to make DegreeInfo history?

    [video=youtube;RFZrzg62Zj0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFZrzg62Zj0&feature=related[/video]

    Great question, rhetorical or not. Will Smith, Steve Carell- would you two like to wish Ted another happy 10,000 posts?

    [video=youtube;umDr0mPuyQc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umDr0mPuyQc&feature=related[/video]

    [video=youtube;fB0l2QX-wzU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB0l2QX-wzU[/video]

    Oh my G.... ok, ok, enough celebrities. Enough jokes. Time for the perfunctory single positive sentence to bring close to the roast. The Tedmeister is without equal and entirely irreplaceable- he has two MBA's, two user titles, 10,000 posts and (SHHH, but...) I've heard that he is hung as high as Haman!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 2, 2012
    Maniac Craniac, Jun 2, 2012
    #10
  11. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    Do you mean that I'm not clever or funny?
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 2, 2012
    #11
  12. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    I failed seven degrees and one marriage.
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 2, 2012
    #12
  13. Rich Douglas

    Rich Douglas Well-Known Member

    Thank you, Ted, for all your contributions to this board. And thank you for taking over the lead on posts. I can do without it.....
     
    Rich Douglas, Jun 3, 2012
    #13
  14. Randell1234

    Randell1234 Moderator

    Better then the other way around! Thanks for adding so much to this board.
     
    Randell1234, Jun 3, 2012
    #14
  15. NorCal

    NorCal Active Member

    Normally I would poke fun and make a sarcastic statement, but I know the liberals who frequent this board would castrate me like in previous situations.

    :lame:

    I'll simply say congratulations and thank you for all your advice and assistance in helping people accomplish their goals. Your input and guidance has contributed to the academic success of many people, and your input is appreciated.

    :You_Rock_Emoticon:
     
    NorCal, Jun 3, 2012
    #15
  16. Abner

    Abner Well-Known Member

    Hey Tedmeister

    You have helped a lot of people over the years, and that you very special. Keep doing what you are doing.

    Abner :smile:
     
    Abner, Jun 4, 2012
    #16
  17. cookderosa

    cookderosa Resident Chef

    I'm not brutal or funny, or at least not in the way that a roast should be- but that said, Ted has always been quick to jump in with any and every conceivable list of degrees whenever asked. I mean that literally. Need a list of underwater basket weaving DL programs from an NA/RA college under 10k? Yeah, he's got a sticky for that!
     
    cookderosa, Jun 4, 2012
    #17
  18. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    Actually, I don't even have a checking account. I always use money orders.
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 4, 2012
    #18
  19. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    Probably pretty salty.
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 4, 2012
    #19
  20. Ted Heiks

    Ted Heiks Moderator and Distinguished Senior Member

    How did you find my profile pic? :Eyecrazy:
     
    Ted Heiks, Jun 5, 2012
    #20
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