Moderators, my apologies in advance if you feel this thread needs to be moved. If y'all recall, I posted awhile back this spring that I had decided to withdraw from the Ph.D. program at Capella, as I had been accepted to a top residential program in the U.S. I was planning on beginning that program this fall, and that would have meant moving back to the U.S. alone -- my husband would have stayed here in the Middle East for the three years or so it would take me to do the degree. My most compelling reason for this was because I have always had the dream of a career in academia, preferably at a strong research institution. Well, that plan is now kaput. My husband suffered, simultaneously, a gall stone attack and a heart attack last Thursday. He was in ICU most of the week, and is out now. Fortunately, the heart damage was minimal, and the cardiologist doesn't think he'll need an angioplasty. However, he's still in quite a bit of pain from the gall bladder, as they are waiting as long as they can before doing the surgery, due to the heart attack. The night I took him to the emergency room, and watched his heartbeat on the monitor swing from 89 beats a minute to 46, to 234, to 0 . . . flatlining three times, I couldn't help but think, what if I hadn't been here? What if I was back in the U.S., working on my degree? I realized, in an instant -- no dream job is worth that. I don't want to be separated from my husband for 3 years for a degree that I can earn through other means, regardless of what future positions that degree might preclude me from obtaining. Therefore, I decided to continue on at Capella, and what the future brings with a Capella degree, we'll just have to see. However, I'm not in the least concerned any more. What we had considered a short-term sacrifice for long-term gain I now see in a different light . . . we never know if the long-term will even be waiting for us. As I shared my earlier decision, I thought I would also let you know about this change. I am so grateful that DL provides me with the opportunity to pursue my dream of a Ph.D., while at the same time staying with my husband and enjoying our life together. Thanks for reading, Adrienne
Adrienne, first off, please accept my best wishes for your husband's recovery. Secondly, Like you I had to put off my thoughts of continued academic education. With advances in delivery and and programs I finally moved forward, albeit too late in life to do much with so I opted for the experience rather than career incentives. Not only do I believe the Capella degree will serve you well but as more and more folks look to DL as a means to educate themselves I believe the research schools will pick up some of these folks to lead their own efforts in DL. You may place yourself in the perfect position. Thanks for keeping us posted and continued success.
Adrienne, I would like to offer my best wishes and support for you and your husband. I can very personally relate to your recent trauma. There is always some benefit to be gained in an otherwise very challenging and difficult situation. I know what it is like to go back and forth, weighing all the options, making a decision then changing it because of the difficulty in grabbing on to that elusive sense of total satisfaction over whatever decision you are leaning toward. I was once told that the definition of hell is indecision. I am sure the process was difficult in choosing between and online option and the traditional school you ended up selecting. However, in an instance, you experienced a moment in time that made that decision for you in a way that no reservations or debate lingers. There is a freedom from being solidly resolute in a decision and that is where you are right now. No more struggling over what is the "right" thing to do. You now have the peace of knowing the path you are now on is most definitely the "right" one for you. Had it not been for your recent unfortunate events, you would not have the peace that you have about the final choice that you have made. And, obviously, being with family will be treasured much more than the latent benefits you may have received from your previous choice. I think you will take your academic accomplishments at Capella and the personal achievements you will experience as a part of your doctoral journey, and run with them. Keep us posted on your progress. Paul C.
Adrienne, let me extend my best wishes for your husband's full & speedy recovery. A family crisis can certainly put things into perspective, and the "big things" no longer seem so important. On the flip side, I'm glad that you are able to forge ahead with your doctorate, albeit not with your first choice. Your situation underlines the great flexibility of DL programs.
Adrienne, Although a newcomer to this board, know that my well-wishes and prayers are with you and yours. As Paul has already put far better than I possibly could, you do now have peace of mind concerning your decision, so there is a silver lining to this cloud.
Adrienne, This is perhaps trite but it's for people like you that a door opens when one closes. Best wishes for your husband.
Adrienne, Let me echo the sentiments about a speedy recovery for your husband. I am sure a PhD from Capella will serve you well in whatever opportunity opens for you! Best wishes, Steven
Thank you, all, for your best wishes for my husband and myself. This board is truly a wonderful community, and I'm so glad to be a part of it! PaulC, you are so right, and so eloquently described how I feel now about my degree decision -- I'm at total peace. Even after my husband and I had talked and talked over the idea of me going back to the U.S., and decided that was the path to take, I still was not completely satisfied with that decision. I would have given anything that it hadn't taken my husband's health for me to find peace. However, I do see it as decimon said: a door closed, but another opened, and besides the stress of worrying about Ray, I haven't felt such internal peace in a long, long, time. Thanks to all, Adrienne
update on Ray I wanted to let y'all know that Ray is home at the moment, on a schedule of "bed rest." The gall bladder surgery is tentatively scheduled for this upcoming Thursday . . . depending mainly now on his lung. Last week the doctors determined the bottom lobe in his right lung collapsed (from not being able to breathe deeply for several days due to pain), so he's doing breathing exercises to get that back up to speed. The cardiologist has put off the surgery twice now, and Ray is hoping that Thursday will be the day -- he's really ready to get it over with and start recovering. He's resting much better, and although is still in pain, the level has decreased dramatically. The best indicator that he's doing better is that he's getting back to his normal, curmudgeonly, snarky self! Thanks again for all your support and wishes. I'll update this thread again after the surgery (or not, if they postpone again). Regards, Adrienne P.S. Wow, I just noticed I've made Senior Member status! Can I request extra raspberries for the fruit basket?
